Defending our hearts

Photo by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash

Is defensiveness crippling your relationship? Do you feel regularly on edge, reactive and punchy? Read on for our process for managing defensiveness. Recently, Byron shared a new idea with Francine. Instead of encouragement, Francine responded with “when will you get time to do that?!” The conversation immediately terminated in gloomy withdrawal. Afterwards we unpacked the…

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The Power of Ritual

Routines can be very useful in keeping our lives purposeful and organized. Rituals are like routines with one important difference – they have positive emotional meaning. Rituals connect us with others by providing a focus or activity that enables us to interact together in an enjoyable and meaningful way. Almost anything can become a ritual…

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Stop Whining Already!

It might not be official church teaching, but the admonishment against complainers got as close as it’s possible to get when Pope Francis recently posted this notice on his residential door. Translated from Italian the notice reads: “You are forbidden to complain. Violators are subject to a victim mentality that decreases one’s sense of humour…

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What Women Really Want

Part 2 of the Quest for Happiness Series If equality in work isn’t the answer for making happy wives (see Smart Loving, The Equality Myth), what is? According to the same study that looked at the division of labour*, the best predictor of marital satisfaction among wives was emotional connection. ‘Emotion work’, as psychologists call…

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Connect Hug

Question: How can couples reconnect when things are tense and distant between them? Preferably without words?? Answer: Connect Hug!   Connect Hug – Created with Haiku Deck, presentation software that inspires;

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Take Five: The Art of Apology

Sadly many couples don’t actually know how to apologise and reconcile when they’ve hurt their spouse. People think that it’s obvious, or that it should just be instinctual, or that love should make it all happen spontaneously.   Well it isn’t and it doesn’t.   We see too many wounded couples stuck in a pattern…

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Hug to Diffuse

hug to diffuse

When the tension mounts, what can couples do to restore their harmony? The Connect Hug is simple and powerful. Learn how to hug to diffuse. It’s happening again. Suddenly we find ourselves in that all too familiar territory:  we’re gridlocked in an argument about goodness-knows-what and it’s starting to turn nasty. Our spirits deflate. We…

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