Together with Purpose

The theme for Marriage Week prompts us to reflect – what is our purpose as a couple? Are we together merely by luck, or is there something more? It’s not uncommon to hear people refer to couples in long-lasting marriages as ‘lucky’. It’s as if marital longevity is a roll of the dice, like winning…

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Keeping Our Eyes On What Matters

The day after the biggest birthday in the world (i.e. Christmas), is the feast day of St Stephen. He also happens to be the confirmation saint chosen by Byron some 50+ years ago.    As the first Christian martyr, Stephen’s story is featured in Chapters 6 and 7 of the Acts of the Apostles. Selected as one of…

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Echoes from Childhood

Unpacking the hidden ways our earliest bonds influence love and trust in our adult relationships.  One of the most powerful topics in the SmartLoving Engaged course addresses formation in our family of origin. The family is where we first encounter love and learn to relate with others.   That’s why the Church calls the family “a…

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Resilience Of The Marital Kind

Let’s face it – marriage can be a tough gig these days. Living in a culture that almost expects marriage to fail, couples wonder what they can do to immunise their relationship against the tragedy of divorce. Understanding the True Purpose of Marriage Marital resilience starts with a well-grounded understanding of what marriage is and…

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Defending our hearts

Is defensiveness crippling your relationship? Do you feel regularly on edge, reactive and punchy? Read on for our process for managing defensiveness. Recently, Byron shared a new idea with Francine. Instead of encouragement, Francine responded with “when will you get time to do that?!” The conversation immediately terminated in gloomy withdrawal. Afterwards we unpacked the…

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Teaching love to university students

Later this year, population experts and pronatalists will meet in Texas to explore practical solutions to declining worldwide fertility. It’s one of several signs that attitudes to fertility rates are shifting. Fertility rates have been in decline for decades, and not just in developed countries like North America, Europe and Australia. China and India have…

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The Growth Mindset

At our daughter’s recent award assembly, the school Principal addressed the topic of ‘Growth Mindset’. She noted how education was more than merely preparing students for exams and aiming for maximum marks on their university entrance ranking. In a country where we have national examinations of all school children every two years from the age…

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Experience is not always the best teacher

Lots of people think that dating (and being sexually intimate) with a number of different people before marriage is an essential part of  forming a successful union. But is this kind of  ‘experience’ the best way to prepare for marriage? Many people think that having a few failed relationships is helpful in preparing them (or…

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Perfectly Imperfect Marriages

Despite the promises of Hollywood and fairytales, the perfect marriage is the one that helps us grow the most. And that’s not likely to be a marriage without hardship or trouble. Yesterday, as we were preparing to run a training session later on, we had ‘one’. An argument of sorts. It was more like a ‘splat’…

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Ain’t Marriage Grand!

What makes for an epic marriage? A marriage that faces and transcends challenges and obstacles, that has an interior resilience and grace that comes from the God who is always ready to encourage us. We recently attended two weddings of close family friends. This time, a different part of the ceremony really stood out for…

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