Knot Yet! #4: Marriage Horizon

What comes first: maturity or marriage? Most of us think that maturity should precede marriage, but research suggests that marriage itself is a maturing process. Marriage and family are well known to have a ‘civilising’ influence on participants. We really noticed this impact in ourselves when we had our first child. All of a sudden…

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Cohabitation #5: A Trial Marriage?

Cohabitating couples are often defensive about their lifestyle insisting that they are just as committed as a married couple. We continue the discussion here in part 5 of this series. By definition, cohabitation is a limited, conditional commitment. It is an arrangement which is understood to be putting the relationship to the test. Partners wisely…

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Cohabitation #3: Commitment Delay

What impact does cohabitation have on the stability of the future marriage? In this third part of the series looking at why divorce is around 50% higher for couples who previously cohabitated we look at the phenomenon of Commitment Delay. It is well known that the age at first marriage is getting older. Over the…

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Cohabitation #2: Commitment Creep

Cultural wisdom dictates that couples are sensible to live together before committing to marriage. Research demonstrates that in fact, this practice undermines the future marriage rather than supports it.   This is the second in a series on cohabitation myths. As couples become more involved, their living arrangements become increasingly entangled. Shared possessions, friends, pets…

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Cohabitation Myth

Many dating couples opt to live together before deciding to marry, because they believe that it is a responsible and prudent thing to do. They reason that cohabitating together will be like a trial marriage. They will learn all about each other’s habits and discover whether they are truly compatible. And when they do finally…

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Success Breeds Success

You Don’t Need to Fail in Order to Succeed A lot of people think that having a few failed relationships is helpful in preparing them for marriage. Some even go as so far as seeing the first marriage itself as a ‘training ground’ for the grand love that is expected to follow. They reason: now…

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Stop the Train…I Want to Get Off!

Stop the Train I want to get off

How the divorce superhighway fails couples. Speaking recently with one of America’s foremost family therapists, Dr Bill Doherty, we had a lively discussion on the divorce process. He noted that there are a significant proportion of couples who are ambivalent about their divorce, but once they file, it’s like they are on a superhighway with no…

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The Pill and Partner Choice

The Pill and Partner Choice

It has long been known that hormonal contraceptives diminish a woman’s natural sexual drive (also called ‘libido’). Now there is real life evidence that the Pill also affects a woman’s partner choice. In a study published in Royal Society B: Biological Sciences,  the authors speculate that hormonal contraceptive use before marriage could have a long lasting impact…

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