#5 Thoughts Emotions Needs

We’ve already explored how to deepen our communication as a couple but focusing on sharing our interior life, specifically, sharing at the more intimate levels of Emotions and Needs. But how do emotions and needs relate to each other? And importantly, how do our thoughts impact our emotions? In this conversation we’re exploring these nuances…

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#4 Communication

Communication is one of the key topics that couples say is so important. While most engaged couples believe they are great at communication, many married couples say they could use some help. What’s going on? Did these couples somehow unlearn how to communicate? Join us as we explore communication – the pitfalls, the benefits, and…

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Going From Good To Better

Marital health is about more than minimizing conflict. If we want to go from ‘good’ to ‘better’ we need to capitalise on the positives. Most marriage counselling and education focuses on conflict and incompatibility. It seeks to help couples find constructive ways of dealing with challenges in the relationship. It’s a ‘damage control’ approach that…

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Deep Impact Conversations

“How was your day?” It’s one of the most common questions couples ask each other and either leads to a dead-end response like, “fine” or “busy” (which usually means “I don’t want to talk about it”), or a long-winded description of meetings, frustrations, errands and other ‘busy’ stuff. It’s what we call a ‘data transfer’…

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Hear Me, Touch Me, Know Me

In relationships, the word ‘intimacy’ is often used as a euphemism for sex, but this is a very narrow and impoverished view. Some people have suggested that the meaning is better encapsulated through its sounds: “in-to-me-see” better captures the idea that intimacy involves the knowledge of the interior life of each other. In any relationship,…

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Making the connection: It’s easy with these three tips

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In times of challenge and stress, it’s especially important to make the connection with each other. Here we offer three tips to make it easier. We recently analysed the feedback from 400 participants in our online marriage preparation course. The results to the question, “On which of the following areas would you like more formation/education”,…

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Our family is a mess!

The Christmas Vigil Mass features the Gospel of Matthew (1:1-25). Depending on whether you get the long or short version, you might hear the genealogy of Jesus Christ – a rather long list of the forebears of Jesus, going all the way back to Abraham. It includes some of the most dysfunctional characters from the…

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How to Forgive More Easily

We remember those long nights in the first year of our marriage. In the infancy of his career, Byron was often late home from work as he juggled the demands on his time. Initially, Francine was so grateful when he finally arrived that she didn’t register the hurt that his lateness caused. Over time and…

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How Expectations Set Us Up for Trouble

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When we look back on our early romance, we note how quick we were to trust each other, even recklessly so. We dived into the relationship with ready abandon and little thought for the risks of rejection or disappointment. Since then, our trust levels have strengthened in many areas, and declined in others, as we’ve…

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The Names we use Matter

Our second granddaughter finally has a name. Born over a month ago, her parents took their sweet, merry time before committing it to official record. In the interim, this bonny lass (her father is of Irish-Scottish descent) ‘tried on’ a dozen names before the right fit was found. Her name, Theresa Mairead, links her to…

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