Posts Tagged ‘communication’
Can we change the subject, please?
One of the hardest conversations to have as a couple, is one about our sex life. Yet lovemaking is central to the Sacrament of Matrimony and is crucial to the flourishing of our relationship. There are couples in every one of our communities who have never once had an honest conversation about their sex life. Not because they don’t love each other.…
Read MoreTime, Energy, Attention — Three Words Every Marriage Needs
I recently had a delightful and thought-provoking meeting with Fr. Patrick Toohey from the Catholic Archdiocese of Perth. During it he asked me what do I thought all relationships require? The answer? An acronym: T.E.A. which stands for: Time, Energy, and Attention — and according to Fr. Patrick, these are the three ingredients that every lasting marriage is built on. You can’t buy them, fake them, or borrow them. You can only choose…
Read MoreSeven Habits of Effective Communicators
Almost everyone agrees that communication – good communication – is essential to successful relationships. But what constitutes ‘good’ communication? The answer to that all depends on our goals, which will be different for various relationships and dependent on the circumstances. If our goal is to give clear instructions to an employee, it will call for…
Read MoreFrom Complaint to Request
The Unforeseen Truth While deep down we really love each other, all couples inevitably have ‘complaints’ about their spouse. They can be as simple as annoying habits, inconsistent behaviour and frustrating personality traits. Often, the very characteristics that first attracted us become the most infuriating ones of all. You fall in love with his sense…
Read MoreThe Other Sex
Language Matters For years, advocates of inclusive language have been steadily drawing our attention to the clumsy use of language which can alienate various ethnic groups or religious adherents, the elderly, the young, the disabled, the poor, or even whole sexes. Why? Because language is more than just about communicating our thoughts effectively. Language…
Read MoreThe BS Detector
Mind Over Matter ‘Mind Reading’ is one of those clairvoyant arts that seems to elude us when it comes to marriage. Too often we make the mistake of assuming that our spouse knows what we need without communicating clearly about it. How many times have we, or our spouse, declared in exasperation to the…
Read MoreSoulful Communication
Communication has long been seen as the key to a healthy marriage. Modern experts call into question this wisdom, suggesting that it is not communication, but connection that is the key to lasting marital happiness. Communication in relationships is often misunderstood. Most peo ple think that good communication involves choosing the right words and learning…
Read MoreEditing Ourselves
Balancing honesty with kindness & Effectiveness We live in a culture that champions unfiltered self-expression. We’re told that honesty is the ultimate virtue in relationships – that I have a right to say what’s on my mind, whenever I feel like it, and that our spouse should be ready to listen. It’s a message that…
Read MoreGoing From Good To Better
Marital health is about more than minimizing conflict. If we want to go from ‘good’ to ‘better’ we need to capitalise on the positives. Most marriage counselling and education focuses on conflict and incompatibility. It seeks to help couples find constructive ways of dealing with challenges in the relationship. It’s a ‘damage control’ approach that…
Read MoreDeep Impact Conversations
“How was your day?” It’s one of the most common questions couples ask each other and either leads to a dead-end response like, “fine” or “busy” (which usually means “I don’t want to talk about it”), or a long-winded description of meetings, frustrations, errands and other ‘busy’ stuff. It’s what we call a ‘data transfer’…
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