Making a change for the better

Change is difficult. It can also be complicated. Despite our best intentions, sustained change often eludes us. We’ve had many spouses tell us that their husband or wife promised to change, and things were good for a while, but then there was a relapse. Their good intentions were not enough to sustain their energy for…

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Best Lent Ever…For Your Spouse!

Lent as ultimate change maker

While lots of people make resolutions for the New Year, most of these optimistic beginnings fizzle out before the end of January. Thankfully, Lent gives we Christians another, and a better, chance of success. One year, about two decades ago, a close friend of ours shared with us how she decided to give up blame…

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Change Starts Here

Part 4 of It Takes One to Tango. See others in this series here, here. and here. All change in our relationships should start with ourselves. While it’s comforting to be able to blame our spouse for the inadequacies of our marriage, expecting them to change to meet our demands is not only ineffective, it’s not…

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Programmed for love or for trouble?

We were recently hosted overnight in the country home of friends. It was a beautiful experience in every way. Our hosts greeted us with warmth, housed us in a tastefully appointed bedroom and nourished us with a delightful meal. Their home was a beauty to behold; magnificent views overlooking the valley, landscaped gardens and an…

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Marriage and the Plenary Council

Asking the Right Questions No matter where you live in the world, the Catholic Church is undergoing significant introspection and renewal. In Australia, one of the formal mechanisms is the Plenary Council – a process of national discernment culminating in a gathering of leaders and representatives in 2020. The question posed to the Australian church…

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The single-minded search

Single and searching? Look for this one quality. Sometimes single people ask us for suggestions on how to find a suitable marriage partner. Some, having had a series of disappointing experiences, are looking for ways to improve their odds of success. Here’s a thought we often ask them to consider. Most people, when quizzed on…

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Forgiveness – A New Year Resolution you can keep

Too many New Year resolutions falter because they fail to address what really needs changing: the internal disposition that compels us into unwanted habits. A few years ago, we got a letter from an irate reader. We were tempted to point out his clear misinterpretation that led him to conclude almost the direct opposite of…

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Partner Selection

Making a Good Partner Choice

How do you know what to look for in a romantic partner? One young woman liked to tell us she had three simple criteria for a boyfriend: good massages, could fix her car and curly hair! We’re sure she was joking but at least she was thinking about it. Dr John Van Epp is a…

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Marital Resilience

Marital Resilience

Let’s face it – marriage is a tough gig these days. With divorce rates higher than we’d like, too many families are being torn apart by marriage breakdown. What can couples do to immunize their marriages against this tragedy? Marital resilience starts with a well-grounded understanding of what marriage is and what it isn’t. A lot of…

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