Three Tools for Better Conflict

  Every marriage has conflict. Two imperfect people sharing a home and dealing with all the pressures of modern life? It’s inevitable! But conflict doesn’t have to be destructive.   Whether it’s the sting of misunderstanding, silent withdrawal, passive aggression or a shouty, foot-stomping exchange, conflict shows up regularly in married life. Busyness, stress, and insufficient…

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Making the Connection…with Arguments

  Neither of us likes it when we disagree, yet we’ve had more than a few in our 28 years of marriage – some of them leading to horrible arguments. When disagreements descend into arguments, they usually become hurtful and unproductive, leaving us feeling bitter and exhausted. But are arguments all bad, or always harmful?…

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The BS Detector

  Mind Over Matter ‘Mind Reading’ is one of those clairvoyant arts that seems to elude us when it comes to marriage. Too often we make the mistake of assuming that our spouse knows what we need without communicating clearly about it. How many times have we, or our spouse, declared in exasperation to the…

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When I am winning, WE are usually losing

  “You can either be right, or you can be one, but you can’t be both”. Our mentors were talking to us about a frustrating argument, and we were both digging in.   They were right, of course, but we struggled to put it into practice. It would not be the last time either. Like just…

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Protesting Against Disconnection

Have you ever had an argument and been left wondering what it was actually about? We can remember a number of occasions where we dug in and defended our opinion with great vigor, only to find ourselves twenty minutes later losing track of what we were defending. Somehow, the original point of disagreement – which…

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Five Strategies to Improve your Marriage

Is it possible to improve a troubled marriage without the cooperation of our spouse? Read on for our top five strategies to improve your marriage. A lot of people feel trapped in a dissatisfying or troubled marriage. They feel powerless to ‘fix’ it because their spouse refuses to join them in counselling or a marriage…

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Myths about Arguments

When it comes to marriage and relationship, there are a lot of myths out there. Here are five of the most common. Myth 1: Good couples don’t argue. The presence or absence of arguments is not a good indicator of the health of a marriage. Some couples who don’t argue are living detached, parallel lives.…

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The Names we use Matter

Our second granddaughter finally has a name. Born over a month ago, her parents took their sweet, merry time before committing it to official record. In the interim, this bonny lass (her father is of Irish-Scottish descent) ‘tried on’ a dozen names before the right fit was found. Her name, Theresa Mairead, links her to…

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Marriage on Fire

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At the time of writing, fires are still blazing across the Australian landscape with many tragedies of life and property lost. Even if not directly impacted, many of us have friends, family and colleagues who are. And it is not over yet. In our case, Christmas Day saw Byron and two of our sons depart…

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