SL Column
Experience is not always the best teacher
Lots of people think that dating (and being sexually intimate) with a number of different people before marriage is an essential part of forming a successful union. But is this kind of ‘experience’ the best way to prepare for marriage? Many people think that having a few failed relationships is helpful in preparing them (or…
Read MoreAre we outliving marriage?
We’ve heard it said many times – you probably have as well – it goes like this. “People live so much longer these days, it’s unreasonable to expect a marriage to last all their life.” It’s certainly true that life expectancy has increased in recent generations in many countries. For our grandparents (born at the…
Read MoreRomance and Mystery
One of the things that makes a new romance so exciting and attractive is the element of uncertainty: Is this person really interested in me? Will this person really be the one I’ve longed for? We can all relate to the thrill of the start-up relationship where the other is essentially still a stranger and…
Read MoreCalled to Greatness
The word ‘vocation’ comes from the Latin ‘vocare’ which means ‘to call’. Our primary vocation, the one we all share, is the vocation to holiness. We are called to follow Christ and be in relationship with him. From the Pope to a newborn – it is the same call and equally compelling. A secondary vocation…
Read MorePrivate Vows: Good Idea or Not?
With a son and two nieces presently engaged, there’s a lot of conversation about weddings in our household. One of the things that has come up is the idea of ‘private vows’ which, according to popular blogs, is trending. The phenomenon of eloping to avoid the drama and cost of a big event is not…
Read MoreThe Epic Battle in Every Marriage
If there is one thing that the seasons of Lent and Easter bring into focus, it’s the struggle between good and evil. At its heart, the Easter story is an epic tale of Perfect Love (Jesus Christ) facing down and conquering Evil. It’s not just an historic struggle – it goes on every day in…
Read MorePassion, Death, and Resurrection in Marriage
Every marriage has elements of passion, death, and resurrection. These seasons of growth, disillusionment and revitalisation are entirely normal, and to be expected. The problem is there’s often a delay before the resurrection manifests. That ‘waiting in the tomb’ is profoundly challenging; in our case it’s never just three days! Here are three thoughts about…
Read MoreHear Me, Touch Me, Know Me
In relationships, the word ‘intimacy’ is often used as a euphemism for sex, but this is a very narrow and impoverished view. Some people have suggested that the meaning is better encapsulated through its sounds: “in-to-me-see” better captures the idea that intimacy involves the knowledge of the interior life of each other. In any relationship,…
Read MoreGratitude: The Heart-beat of Love
New research validates age-old wisdom: the simple habit of gratitude can transform a jaded marriage into a joyous encounter. By Marilyn Rodrigues A University of North Carolina study released last month highlighted the association of gratitude with a happy marriage. Cameron Gordon, the study’s lead author, said that the goodwill generated by grateful spouses creates…
Read MoreThree Ways to a Resilient Marriage
We’ve been hearing from many of our SmartLoving leaders around the world looking for help in supporting couples under stress. There’s certainly lots of stress going around with pandemic induced changes and uncertainty. It got us reflecting on marital resilience – the ability of a relationship to endure and persevere through difficulties. There is quite…
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