SL Column
Role Models for Marriage
How can we inspire young people to embrace stable, loving marriages when so many grow up without seeing them? We’ve all heard stories that stop us in our tracks. One that sticks with us is about a teacher in an inner-city U.S. primary school who discovered her students didn’t know what a wedding was.…
Read MoreLeaving and Cleaving is Complicated!
Origin Families and their Impact “A man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh.” (Gen 2:24) On our wedding day, we joyfully left our family homes to begin our married life together. Living and worshipping in the same parish, with similar ethnic heritage and family structure,…
Read MoreUnderstanding Compound Wounds
Who would have thought espresso cups could cause such drama? Byron had discarded the unused ‘free’ cups a year earlier, without Francine even noticing their absence. After a frantic search when a guest requested an espresso, she discovered their fate. Despite this information, she experienced a kind of suspende d reality – she…
Read MoreGoing the distance is easier together
We’ve all heard marriage is a journey, but what happens when it feels like a marathon with no finish line? Every couple faces trials – tension with family, disappointment or frustration at work, unemployment, or health struggles. What hurts most isn’t always the trial itself – it’s the feeling of being alone in it,…
Read MoreCalling Volunteer Feet
It’s that time of year when parishioners scatter like startled sheep. The call goes out for volunteers to have their feet washed on Holy Thursday, and suddenly, we’re armed with a thousand excuses. We get it – our knobbly, stinky feet aren’t exactly our best feature. The idea of baring them in public, especially to…
Read MoreLong Live the Ten-Second Kiss
In a world that pulls couples apart, a simple ten-second kiss IS a small act of love with big rewards. Regular readers of SmartLoving will be familiar with the Connect Kiss – a daily connection ritual we promote to couples. It consists of a smoochy kiss that lasts at least ten seconds. We recommend it…
Read MoreEditing Ourselves
Balancing honesty with kindness & Effectiveness We live in a culture that champions unfiltered self-expression. We’re told that honesty is the ultimate virtue in relationships – that I have a right to say what’s on my mind, whenever I feel like it, and that our spouse should be ready to listen. It’s a message that…
Read MoreWhen I am winning, WE are usually losing
“You can either be right, or you can be one, but you can’t be both”. Our mentors were talking to us about a frustrating argument, and we were both digging in. They were right, of course, but we struggled to put it into practice. It would not be the last time either. Like just…
Read MoreOur Way or God’s Way?
Finding Harmony in the Catholic Wedding Vows We often find ourselves chatting with engaged couples who want to write their own wedding vows. They tell us the traditional language feels stiff or too generic, and we get it—their love is unique, and they want their words to reflect that. It’s entirely understandable, and it…
Read MoreHow to Help a Struggling Marriage – A Catholic Guide
“I wanted to help, but I didn’t know how.” If you’ve been in the position of having a friend, parishioner, or family member confide their marital problems, you’re in the majority – 69% of adult men and 78% of adult women have been there. For priests, we suspect that number reaches 100%. Unless you’ve had…
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