Married Couples
Complaint to Request
The Unforeseen Truth While deep down we really love each other, all couples inevitably have ‘complaints’ about their spouse. They can be as simple as annoying habits, inconsistent behaviour and frustrating personality traits. Often, the very characteristics that first attracted us become the most infuriating ones of all. You fall in love with his sense…
Read MoreTwo of Us: Topics of Conversation
A couple exercise to examine the patterns of our communication Reflect Separately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions. Write some notes so that you can share more fully with your spouse. Prayer Father, I thank you for you and I thank you for myself and I thank you for…
Read MoreBoundaries
The proverb, “Good fences make good neighbours” has a great deal of wisdom. The concept of having clearly defined boundaries helps us to develop healthy relationships. When people know the limits of what they can demand from a relationship, it allows all parties to enjoy it. Hidden agendas evaporate and positive feeling in the relationship…
Read MoreThe Sleep Deprived Marriage
I remember my parents once advising us as newlyweds: ‘Don’t go cheap on your bed! One of the best things you can do for your marriage is make sure you get good sleep.’ At the time, we were rather bemused. However, nineteen years of marriage and five children later let there be no doubt, this…
Read MoreThe 50-50 Marriage Myth
In our society, a lot people think that marriage is a fifty-fifty arrangement. That we each contribute equally to the relationship. The problem with this kind of thinking, is that it leads us to hold back and to keep score. We fell into this trap earlier in our marriage. When life started to get busy…
Read MoreSuccess Breeds Success
You Don’t Need to Fail in Order to Succeed A lot of people think that having a few failed relationships is helpful in preparing them for marriage. Some even go as so far as seeing the first marriage itself as a ‘training ground’ for the grand love that is expected to follow. They reason: now…
Read MoreThe Other Sex
Language Matters For years, advocates of inclusive language have been steadily drawing our attention to the clumsy use of language which can alienate various ethnic groups or religious adherents, the elderly, the young, the disabled, the poor, or even whole sexes. Why? Because language is more than just about communicating our thoughts effectively. Language is…
Read MoreThe Art of Seduction
The Post-Marriage Paradox When it comes to winning the affections of a woman, most men think of flowers, jewellery, romantic dinners, and copious amounts of admiring comments about her looks. It works pretty well most of the time… until they get married and start a family. Now, these same gestures can sometimes, to his utter…
Read MoreSince it’s Not the End of the World…Make Some New Year Resolutions
Every New Year’s Eve it’s the same. We resolve to lose weight, get fit, cut back on bad habits and bring more balance into our lives. And sometimes, we even DO follow through, even if only for a few months. These are not bad resolutions. The question is: are these things the ones on which…
Read MorePositive Thinking
Capitalise on the Positive Most marriage counselling and education focuses on conflict and incompatibility. It seeks to help couples find constructive ways of dealing with challenges in the relationship. It’s a kind of ‘damage control’ approach that seeks to minimize the impact of negative experiences. One of the strategies for couples that is often overlooked…
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