Married Couples
The Body As A Theology
Actions are far more powerful than words. Every look or touch can communicate clear messages that reveal your attraction and your desire to be for the other. As those messages grow more generous and committed, so too does the corresponding body language. All love is based on truth and sincerity. In the love between a…
Read MoreSex As Communion
Sex is something we ‘say’, not something we ‘do’. It is the most intimate communion between a man and woman and is so much more than just a physical activity and yet almost everything around us – movies, magazines, books, even your friends and relatives-approach sex as something we ‘do’. Most people never question this…
Read MoreThe Spousal Meaning of the Body
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.” … So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.…
Read MoreOne Again
Adopt a structured Reconciliation Process Because you are not at your best when you have been hurt, it is wise to have a formal process that you have agreed on in advance. You can reconcile using the Stop-Reflect-Connect & L.I.F.E. tools together. Step 1: Stop! Separate. When you’re hurt, it’s easy to say hurtful things…
Read MoreName It & Tame It
Once you have named your formation, you are in a position to tame it – to consciously choose to reinforce that formation which is helpful and constructive, or to change the formation that is problematic for you. There are three common patterns of problem formation: Incompatible Expectations arise as a result of the differences in…
Read MoreReconciliation
Love means more tha saying “I’m sorry” Concept: Forgiveness Forgiveness is not an emotion. Forgiveness is a choice; a choice to let go of your resentment against your fiancé. Forgiveness is a vital step to the restoration of your unity. There’s a difference between the ‘I’ centred statement “I’m sorry”, and the other centred statement,…
Read MoreRestoring Unity
Be angry but do not sin. Do not let the sun set on your anger. Ephesians 4:26 Reconciliation and healing can be a great source of growth and grace in a couple’s relationship. Reconciliation teaches couples how to be more sensitive to the other’s feelings and needs and how to love the other more effectively.…
Read MoreSeven Deadly Habits
Research by Dr. John Gottman and others has helped us to understand the specific behaviours which are so deadly for marriages. He is able to predict with high degree of accuracy whether a couple will divorce, by the way they argue.* You’ll want to avoid these Seven Deadly Habits that characterise marriages headed for bust.…
Read MoreConflict
What distinguishes couples in lasting marriages from those in more fragile ones, is not the absence of arguments, but the presence of respect and cherishment. When couples fight, what hurts is not the fact that their spouse disagrees with them, it is the contempt and indifference with which it is often packaged. Contempt – the…
Read MoreStop. Reflect. Connect.
FOR DECISION MAKING Whenever you are making a difficult or important decision, or disagree about how to go about something, the Stop-Reflect-Connect tool for Decision Making can be used. It helps you to avoid an argument by refocusing you on your priority – your fiancé and your relationship. Stop! Before the disagreement escalates to an…
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