Married Couples
Quit Brooding!
Part 2 of It Takes One to Tango You are dissatisfied with your marriage. Your spouse may or may not share your disillusionment. Your spouse may or may not be willing to work with you towards a more loving, intimate connection. But without him/her, there’s not a lot you can do to improve your situation,…
Read MoreBe My Valen-time!
Insufficient time together is one of the biggest contributors to relationship breakdown. Whether our relationship is flying or sinking, time together is like a balm, healing the bumps and bruises of life and stimulating our feelings of affection and tenderness. And with Valentines’ Day approaching, it’s the perfect opportunity to give the gift of time.…
Read MoreThe Marriage Myth
Part 5 in the Quest for Happiness Series Too many times have we heard the complaint – “I’m just not happy in this marriage anymore”. For couples today, personal happiness has become the measure of whether a marriage is ‘working’. The mass media and our romantic fantasies conspire to convince us that we have a…
Read MoreWhat is Happiness Anyway?
Part 4 in the Quest for Happiness Series Speaking of what makes a wife or husband happy (see SmartLoving The Equality Myth, What Women Really Want & What do Men Want?) perhaps we should look at what happiness is and more importantly, whether it really is the ultimate goal. ‘Happiness’ should be distinguished from ‘joy’.…
Read MoreWhat Do Men Want?
Part 3 in the Quest for Happiness Series In all the discussions about what makes a wife happy (see Smart Loving What Women Really Want & The Equality Myth), it strikes us that the happiness of husbands is often overlooked. Actually, it’s rarely on the agenda. That in itself says something about us as a…
Read MoreWhat Women Really Want
Part 2 of the Quest for Happiness Series If equality in work isn’t the answer for making happy wives (see Smart Loving, The Equality Myth), what is? According to the same study that looked at the division of labour*, the best predictor of marital satisfaction among wives was emotional connection. ‘Emotion work’, as psychologists call…
Read MoreThe Equality Myth
Part 1 of the Quest for Happiness Series Inequality in the division of labour at home has long been a sore point for married women. In theory, the egalitarian model of the modern dual-income, shared-homemaking marriage should solve this problem; as women move into the paid workforce, men would assume more responsibility at home.Right? This…
Read MoreMarriage Enemy #1: Lethargy
We asked a marriage counselor friend of ours about why a marriage fails. We were expecting a long complex answer so we already had a bottle of wine open. Yet her answer was short. According to her, if there are no addictions or mental illness involved, then most marriages fail through simple, straight-forward laziness. Almost…
Read MoreHow Often Do Men Need to Have Sex?
Shaunti Feldhahn is an author and social researcher who specialises in marital relationships. In this article she responds to a question from a female reader about how often men need sex: “Even though I can go weeks or months and not miss it, he says he wants me to want it like he does.” Shaunti…
Read MoreIs marriage meant to make you happy?
Byron & Francine Pirola discuss the purpose of marriage is this excerpt from The Marriage Kit, an online course for married couples. Marriage isn’t meant to make us happy. Rather, marriage is meant to help us grow and ultimately that leads to fulfilment. There can be no fulfilment without growth. We all seek happiness, but…
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