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Is ‘Grace Alone’ Enough for Marriage?
What YOUCAT Love Forever Says About the Real Work of Marriage Recently a young man in the SmartLoving Engaged course asked for a refund. The reason? He felt the practical relationship skills were unnecessary, and that a good marriage required one thing only: to live a life in the grace of God. It’s a perspective that sounds beautiful on the surface. And he wasn’t entirely wrong – grace is foundational to…
Read MoreBringing Mercy to your Marriage
It’s Divine Mercy Sunday this week, one of our favourite feasts. Inspired by the writings of St Faustina, a Polish visionary of the 20th century, this feast honours God’s infinite capacity for forgiveness. We’ve had more than a few spats in our marriage. There. We’ve said it. People often expect us to be somehow impervious…
Read MoreWhen Marriages Rise from the Dead
The power of forgiveness can bring even the most broken marriage back to life Good Friday confronts us with something as remarkable: an innocent man, nailed to a cross, gasping out words that should have been rage or despair – but weren’t. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Lk 23:34) We’ve sat with those words…
Read MoreSeven Habits of Effective Communicators
Almost everyone agrees that communication – good communication – is essential to successful relationships. But what constitutes ‘good’ communication? The answer to that all depends on our goals, which will be different for various relationships and dependent on the circumstances. If our goal is to give clear instructions to an employee, it will call for…
Read MoreOpenness to Life is for All of Us
It’s not uncommon to have couples of advanced years in the SmartLoving Engaged course. One or both may be widowed or they may have only found love and a vocation to marriage after many decades of single life. Sometimes they express confusion or frustration that their marriage preparation course includes fertility awareness education. For example, recently a widower in…
Read MoreThe Rise of the Fur Baby
Fur babies: substitute child, family asset or living therapy doll? In this blog we discuss some different views on the rise of the Fur Baby culture. For years, our daughter pleaded with us for a dog – every birthday, every Christmas, the same earnest plea. And for years, we had our stock reply: “We’d have another baby before…
Read MoreLent: A Marriage Make-over Opportunity
Lent – the annual invitation to lean in closer to the Lord in our pursuit of holiness through fasting, prayer and almsgiving. This year, we’re looking to do something together to grow both in faith and love. It’s typical to approach Lent as individuals, each of us committing to our own plan of renewal. Yet our marriage vocation reminds us that being…
Read MoreRomance and Mystery
One of the things that makes a new romance so exciting and attractive is the element of uncertainty: Is this person really interested in me? Will this person really be the one I’ve longed for? We can all relate to the thrill of the start-up relationship where the other is essentially still a stranger…
Read MoreTogether with Purpose
The theme for Marriage Week prompts us to reflect – what is our purpose as a couple? Are we together merely by luck, or is there something more? It’s not uncommon to hear people refer to couples in long-lasting marriages as ‘lucky’. It’s as if marital longevity is a roll of the dice, like winning…
Read MoreListening is the Music of Love
One of the most supremely loving gestures we can give another person is to truly listen to them. Yet for most of us, being genuinely listened to is a rare experience. Why is something so simple so hard to give? We remember those early romance days so clearly. Living in two different cities, we relied…
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