Conflict
Conflict
What distinguishes couples in lasting marriages from those in more fragile ones, is not the absence of arguments, but the presence of respect and cherishment. When couples fight, what hurts is not the fact that their spouse disagrees with them, it is the contempt and indifference with which it is often packaged. Contempt – the…
Read MoreStop. Reflect. Connect.
FOR DECISION MAKING Whenever you are making a difficult or important decision, or disagree about how to go about something, the Stop-Reflect-Connect tool for Decision Making can be used. It helps you to avoid an argument by refocusing you on your priority – your fiancé and your relationship. Stop! Before the disagreement escalates to an…
Read MoreEmbracing the Other’s Value
The call to unity is a call to be predisposed to see things from a couple perspective, taking the other into account and embracing that which affects one as affecting both. …Making what is important to your fiancé important to you… When you make what is important to your fiancé important to you, they will…
Read MoreConflicting Values
Behind every behaviour or decision that you make, is a value; something that you hold in high esteem and is advanced in some way by the action. For example, making the choice to work back late may reflect any one of a number of values, such as: having pride in doing a job well, reducing…
Read MorePriorities & Ideals
What are your priorities? Priorities and Ideals are principles that you embrace as important to the quality of life you hope to experience. An Ideal is something you believe is good and desirable, however it remains an Ideal if you are not yet ready to make the sacrifices necessary to fit it into your life.…
Read MoreMy Family of Origin
People often say that “you marry into a family”. This is certainly true in that you gain a whole new set of relatives, but it is also true in that you will be exposed to all the customs, traditions, and family values that are characteristic of the people to whom your fiancé belongs. More significantly,…
Read MoreFormation – Family of Origin
This session is designed to help you see clearly the pictures in your brain of what you think is right and normal. That is, your unconscious expectations of the dynamic between husband and wife – what it means to be husband and father or wife and mother. Even if your parents were extraordinarily happy in…
Read MoreFinding Mr or Mrs Right
Many people think that the key to a successful marriage is finding the right person. Clearly there is some common sense to this notion – after all, having someone who shares your beliefs and values, has similar interests and is a person of virtue and integrity all make marriage a whole lot easier. And in…
Read MoreThe Soul Mate Myth
Chasing ‘Happily Ever After’
Read MoreThe 11 Differences Between Dating a Boy vs a Man
*Original article available here* When I was in my early twenties, if a guy acted aloof, called back only sometimes and showed minimal interest, I would get hooked. You could say I was addicted to the bad boy/ unavailable boy/ player. I was drawn to what psychotherapist, Ken Page terms as “attractions of deprivation” –…
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