Respect & Cherishment

What’s the Diff? While everyone experiences love uniquely, some clear gender patterns have emerged through relationship research. In one study, when given the option between the negative choices of being ‘alone and unloved in all the world’ or ‘inadequate and disrespected by everyone’, 74% of men preferred be alone and unloved, compared to only minority…

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Daily Appreciation

We all love to be appreciated. It feels good; it helps us to feel positive towards ourselves and towards the person expressing the appreciation. It is a genuinely loving gesture to express appreciation to another and, in marriage particularly, it is a positive relationship habit. Why is expressing appreciation of our spouse such a powerful…

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Daily Strongest Emotion

“Honey we need to talk!” Those five words strike unparalleled fear into a man’s heart. They usually mean an unpleasant message or a very long and arduous interaction. No wonder men dread these words! While women are marathon runners in the endurance conversation; men are optimised for the sprint encounter – fast, focussed, effective communication is…

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Take Five: The Art of Apology

Sadly many couples don’t actually know how to apologise and reconcile when they’ve hurt their spouse. People think that it’s obvious, or that it should just be instinctual, or that love should make it all happen spontaneously.   Well it isn’t and it doesn’t.   We see too many wounded couples stuck in a pattern…

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Complaint to Request

The Unforeseen Truth While deep down we really love each other, all couples inevitably have ‘complaints’ about their spouse. They can be as simple as annoying habits, inconsistent behaviour and frustrating personality traits. Often, the very characteristics that first attracted us become the most infuriating ones of all. You fall in love with his sense…

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Two of Us: Topics of Conversation

A couple exercise to examine the patterns of our communication       Reflect Separately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions. Write some notes so that you can share more fully with your spouse. Prayer Father, I thank you for you and I thank you for myself  and I thank you for…

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The Other Sex

Language Matters For years, advocates of inclusive language have been steadily drawing our attention to the clumsy use of language which can alienate various ethnic groups or religious adherents, the elderly, the young, the disabled, the poor, or even whole sexes. Why? Because language is more than just about communicating our thoughts effectively. Language is…

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The BS Detector

Mind Over Matter ‘Mind Reading’ is one of those clairvoyant arts that seems to elude us when it comes to marriage. Too often we make the mistake of assuming that our spouse knows what we need without communicating clearly about it. How many times have we, or our spouse, declared in exasperation to the injured…

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