Communication
Stop. Reflect. Connect.
FOR DECISION MAKING Whenever you are making a difficult or important decision, or disagree about how to go about something, the Stop-Reflect-Connect tool for Decision Making can be used. It helps you to avoid an argument by refocusing you on your priority – your fiancé and your relationship. Stop! Before the disagreement escalates to an…
Read MoreEmbracing the Other’s Value
The call to unity is a call to be predisposed to see things from a couple perspective, taking the other into account and embracing that which affects one as affecting both. …Making what is important to your fiancé important to you… When you make what is important to your fiancé important to you, they will…
Read MoreConflicting Values
Behind every behaviour or decision that you make, is a value; something that you hold in high esteem and is advanced in some way by the action. For example, making the choice to work back late may reflect any one of a number of values, such as: having pride in doing a job well, reducing…
Read MorePriorities & Ideals
What are your priorities? Priorities and Ideals are principles that you embrace as important to the quality of life you hope to experience. An Ideal is something you believe is good and desirable, however it remains an Ideal if you are not yet ready to make the sacrifices necessary to fit it into your life.…
Read MoreEveryday Communication
Good communication… IS ALWAYS OTHER-CENTRED The best way to stay other-centred and ensure effective communication, even amid the stress of every day situations, is for the Speaker to make it easy for the Listener to listen and for the Listener to encourage the Speaker. Both the Speaker and the Listener are responsible for the quality…
Read MoreEmotional Communion
Emotional Communion is more than just reading or listening actively to what our loved one is sharing. It involves opening our heart in vulnerability to the other, so that we can enter into his or her emotion and be united with them in the experience. The goal of Emotional Communion is to take on the…
Read MoreUnregulated Self-expression
Common Traps When Speaking Generally, men are less dependent than women on verbal expression to establish connection and emotional intimacy with their spouse. This imbalance means that a typical wife will seek more verbal communication than a typical husband, leading to the common dynamic of frustration on his part and hurt on hers. He thinks…
Read MoreListening with the Heart
The first step towards the kind of active listening that will facilitate an experience of intimacy is to examine some of our normal responses to the other’s personal sharing of what’s going on inside them. Resistance People tend to block the sharing of their emotions when the listener reacts defensively or signals that they don’t…
Read MoreLevels of Intimacy
Emotional intelligence refers to a person’s ability to understand their own and other people’s emotional life. Some people are very bright academically but can be quite inept when it comes to relationships and self-awareness. Others have a natural ability in this area. Nonetheless, it is possible for us all to expand and develop our emotional…
Read MoreCommunication
It is helpful to make a distinction between communicating for information and communicating for intimacy. Communicating for information is all about getting the facts and understanding the message. It’s more about the transmission of information than about relationship. The goal of communicating for intimacy, on the other hand, is to know one another at a…
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