The Family is Holy Ground

October 7 marks the Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary. How might this feast be relevant to marriage and family life?  In 1571, a vast Ottoman navy was poised to invade Europe. The Christian forces had already suffered numerous defeats as the Ottomans expanded across the Mediterranean.   Putting his support behind a coalition of…

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Marriage Lessons from a Dog Trainer 

A few months ago, our young Australian Shepherd went to doggie boot camp. Over five weeks she was trained by professional dog-handlers to walk calmly, socialise nicely and keep her focus under the pressure of distractions.   Video footage taken by the trainers proved she was capable. What really remained was the question: can her owners be similarly trained?  When the time came to…

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The Power of Ritual

Routines can be very useful in keeping our lives purposeful and organized. Rituals are like routines with one important difference – they have positive emotional meaning. Rituals connect us with others by providing a focus or activity that enables us to interact together in an enjoyable and meaningful way. Almost anything can become a ritual…

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Too Hasty to Judge

In the age of instant news, judgment falls hastily. In marriage also, we are often quick to judge each other. Like most couples, over thirty plus years of marriage, we’ve had quite a few misunderstandings. Sadly, many of these escalated to painful arguments where hurtful things were said, and our unity was damaged. The reason?…

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The Auto-Pilot Marriage

Crammed schedules, kids to care for, a demanding boss, the ever-present television. No wonder our attentiveness to our couple relationship erodes over time, leaving us with less connection, less spark, and less intimacy. Without an active, intentional mindset, most contemporary marriages end up on ‘auto-pilot’. During courtship, our relationship is central in our awareness and…

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Going From Good To Better

Marital health is about more than minimizing conflict. If we want to go from ‘good’ to ‘better’ we need to capitalise on the positives. Most marriage counselling and education focuses on conflict and incompatibility. It seeks to help couples find constructive ways of dealing with challenges in the relationship. It’s a ‘damage control’ approach that…

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Intentional Relationship

No matter how easy it is to fall in love, staying in love requires attention and effort. Most people drift into love, marriage and family without a whole lot of conscious planning about the kind of relationship they want to have five, 10 or 20 years down the track. Whether you are married, engaged or…

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A Sacramental Season

It’s ‘Sacrament Season’ in Australia: children are busily preparing to make their first Confession, first Holy Communion or Confirmation. Meanwhile, weddings are playing catch up following months of pandemic restrictions.   A life-long encounter  As parents, we had high ambitions for the sacramental preparation of our children. Good intentions, however, struggled against the time drought of…

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Five Ways to Build Trust

Today we had a meeting. Sigh… The dreaded meeting! Being a couple and working together is complex. We’re both strong-willed and passionate about what we do so it’s easy for us to slip into a mode where we single-mindedly pursue what we believe is the best course of action. It triggers us both for different…

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