Blog
Responsible Honesty
Defining Honesty An honest person is someone we can trust; they have a track record of being true to their values and their word. The old adage ‘if we are honest in small things, we will be honest in big things’ is not only true, its inverse is also true: dishonesty in small things leads…
Read MoreFree Sex? The Unintended Cost of the Pill
While the western world celebrates the 50th anniversary of the pill, an American economist, Timothy Reichert*, using simple but powerful competition theory, is questioning its benefit to women. The Mating Market The theory goes thus: There used to be just one ‘mating market’. If a person wanted sex, it was readily available in marriage and…
Read MoreAddicted to Busy
Busy Bees “I’m a very busy person. Don’t waste my time!” How often have we heard that line! Busyness in our culture has become endemic. We don’t know anybody who isn’t busy. Even retirees are busy. Our kids are busier than we ever were, running from this activity, to that ball game, to those training…
Read MoreTruth on Tap 2012
SmartLoving: Relationships that really work from dating to marriage Last week, Francine and Byron Pirola spoke to the youth at Truth on Tap in the Brookvale pub. They addressed key issues surrounding marriage breakdowns and focused on the concept of ‘Smart Loving’: how to love your spouse or fiancé so that both are cared for…
Read MoreCriticism Cancer
Criticism Can Kill Criticism kills not only the self-esteem of the one criticized, it also kills the spirit of optimism in the criticizer. In marriage it is a deadly cancer, eroding our trust and destroying confidence in our relationship. Criticism damages our sense of worthiness. When we are criticized, our doubts about ourselves are confirmed.…
Read MoreOn a Mission to Love
Invest in Love Our ten year old son is a great rugby player. He spends hours in the backyard kicking the ball around, usually over the neighbours’ fence! He eats, sleeps and talks rugby. And if he’s not playing rugby, he’s watching it on TV or ‘playing’ it on the X-Box. It’s not surprising that…
Read MoreMarried Singles Unhappily Ever After
We all start out in marriage with a dream; a dream of a life-long, love affair. But after a year or two, disillusionment sets in and the unreserved trust and intimacy we enjoyed becomes tentative and fragile. We join the army of other ‘married singles’ living our parallel lives and wishing that the other sex…
Read MoreFinding Reverse
Stuck in drive When visiting Rome recently, we borrowed a friend’s car to drive out of the city for a day. Everything was going fine (despite the fact that Roman drivers ignore the lane markings!), until we turned down a one way street the wrong way. Another car, traveling in the right direction, stopped, waiting…
Read MoreMid-Life Madness and other Stressors
As mid-lifers in the midst of working through some of our ‘issues’, we are acutely aware of how easy it would be to let our individual stuff derail our marriage. It’s normal for a person in midlife to be irritable and volatile. Some react with depressive symptoms, others get angry and aggressive, others withdraw or…
Read MoreThe Language of Love
A sacrament makes visible in a human way something that is invisible or spiritual. In other words, a sacrament images and reveals the mystery of God. Every sacrament has two key aspects which make the sacrament visible: words and gesture. In marriage, the sacramental words are the wedding vows, in effect “I freely give myself…
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