Knot Yet! #4: Marriage Horizon

What comes first: maturity or marriage? Most of us think that maturity should precede marriage, but research suggests that marriage itself is a maturing process. Marriage and family are well known to have a ‘civilising’ influence on participants. We really noticed this impact in ourselves when we had our first child. All of a sudden…

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Knot Yet! #2: Age does matter…sort of

Does age matter when it comes to marriage survival? Almost everyone has an opinion, so let’s do some fact checking! It seems like good advice – well-meaning parents offer it all the time… “you’re too young to get married, you don’t know what you want from life yet.” In fact, the prevailing ‘wisdom’ of the…

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Knot Yet! #3: Ticking Clocks

‘The biological clock’ is phrase often used to describe the sense of urgency childless women experience as they age. But are women the only ones whose fertility is age-limited? We’re all familiar with the proverbial ‘biological clock’ that relentlessly taunts childless women reminding them that their time is running out. It’s one of the reasons…

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Knot Yet! #1: Too Young to Wed

When is a person too young to marry? The age at first marriage has differed throughout history and cultures. It’s no news to anyone that the age at first marriage has been steadily rising in almost every developed nation over the past four decades. In the 1960’s both men and women typically married in their…

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Loving Smart

How to Love Over many years we’ve come to realise that most of our mistakes in love come from the assumption that everyone experiences love the same way. A number of authors have developed frameworks to help us understand the foolishness of this idea. For example, in ‘The Five Love Languages’ Gary Chapman recognises that…

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Respect & Cherishment

What’s the Diff? While everyone experiences love uniquely, some clear gender patterns have emerged through relationship research. In one study, when given the option between the negative choices of being ‘alone and unloved in all the world’ or ‘inadequate and disrespected by everyone’, 74% of men preferred be alone and unloved, compared to only minority…

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Daily Appreciation

We all love to be appreciated. It feels good; it helps us to feel positive towards ourselves and towards the person expressing the appreciation. It is a genuinely loving gesture to express appreciation to another and, in marriage particularly, it is a positive relationship habit. Why is expressing appreciation of our spouse such a powerful…

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Marriage: to be happy or to be holy?

”… And they lived happily ever after”… it’s the ending of the fairy tale love story and has become the expected story line of most modern day couples. Swept away by passion and the overwhelming experience of ‘falling in love’, couples expect the wedding to seal their happiness in permanent (and effortless) marital bliss. Of…

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Daily Strongest Emotion

“Honey we need to talk!” Those five words strike unparalleled fear into a man’s heart. They usually mean an unpleasant message or a very long and arduous interaction. No wonder men dread these words! While women are marathon runners in the endurance conversation; men are optimised for the sprint encounter – fast, focussed, effective communication is…

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