Posts by Francine & Byron Pirola
Gratitude: Plant Now, Reap Later
As we look forward to the new year, lots of us are making resolutions, setting goals, planning for the coming months. Most of our colleagues in the marriage education field are posting articles about setting relationship goals – an excellent idea, but we’d like to propose something different. It has been well established that gratitude…
Read MoreThe Smarter Way to Love
Falling in love is easy. Staying in love requires a conscious decision and focused investment. Loving the Smart way is easy when you know how. Our romance was a whirlwind of delight and passion. Over an intense two years, we courted with a dedicated focus: from the very beginning, it was clear that we were…
Read MoreA very grand Advent
It’s Advent again – the season of waiting. This year, our waiting takes on a special focus – we are awaiting the arrival of our first grandchild. Actually, Francine has been waiting for at least a decade for this child to arrive. Byron however, is still in deep denial – he’s far too young and…
Read MoreTrigger warning: there’s a landmine below
Over the previous columns we have been exploring how our formation from our family of origin can continue to impact us and our marriage negatively. In this article we want to unpack the third and final way our formation experiences play out – through emotional injuries. Some years ago, Francine purchased a new espresso machine.…
Read MoreIncompatible Expectations
I wasn’t Expecting that! Over the last few columns we’ve been exploring how our formation in our family of origin continues to play out throughout our marriages. There are typically three ways in which our formation can pose challenges for us and today we explore the first of these: incompatible expectations. Growing up, Francine’s father…
Read MoreIt Takes One to Tango
We’ve all heard the saying: it takes two to tango. But is it true that the only way to improve a marriage is if both husband and wife co-operate? Marriage is like a dance. If one spouse changes his or her steps, that changes the dance. The truth is, it only takes one spouse to…
Read MoreWhat’s in a name?
More than you might think When Adam was commissioned by God to name all the animals (Gen 2: 19-20), it established an important idea in Judeo-Christian tradition; being able to name a person or thing, brings that thing under the authority of the one doing the naming. The scriptures are rich in examples where names…
Read MoreLike Parent, Like Child
The most powerful influence on a couple is their family of origin. Good or bad, our experiences in our childhood prepared us for marriage. The young couple sitting opposite us had been married only a few years. They were experiencing some health challenges, but this is not what brought them to us; they were locked…
Read MoreNatural Fertility is Just an App Away
It’s now over 50 years since the publication of Humanae Vitae – one of the more controversial Vatican documents in recent history. This letter, addressed to all Catholics, reaffirmed the Church’s opposition to the use of contraception. The document was published at a time (1968) when hormonal contraceptives were newly available. Catholic couples mostly used…
Read MoreListening for true understanding
In our previous column, we made the point that marriage is like a contact sport, and that the ‘game’ is more fun, and certainly safer, when we both understand the rules of engagement. We outlined three rules for the Speaker and now we’d like to do the same for the Listener. In any intimate conversation,…
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