Commitment
It Takes One to Tango
We’ve all heard the saying: it takes two to tango. But is it true that the only way to improve a marriage is if both husband and wife co-operate? Marriage is like a dance. If one spouse changes his or her steps, that changes the dance. The truth is, it only takes one spouse to…
Read MoreSt Valentine and Revolutionary Marriage
It’s St Valentine’s day next week. This year, it coincides with Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent and a traditional day for penance and fasting. Oh dear! What to do?! Some think this is a pity; normally we focus on romance and joy for the lover’s feast and it’s hard to do that on…
Read MoreKnot Yet! #5: Responsibility Phobia
What comes first, maturity or the responsibility? In the world of adultescence, the absence of the necessity to be responsible, delays maturity. Most of us look back at adolesence and shiver – it’s a tough time developmentally when the young person is reaching for independence but doesn’t quite have the mental resources to cope with adulthood. Many…
Read MoreMaking the Connection…with Arguments
Neither of us likes it when we disagree, yet we’ve had more than a few in our 28 years of marriage – some of them leading to horrible arguments. When disagreements descend into arguments, they usually become hurtful and unproductive, leaving us feeling bitter and exhausted. But are arguments all bad, or always harmful? Many…
Read MoreCouples on probation!
Why cohabitation doesn’t work Don’t get us started…there are SO many reasons why cohabitation is a bad idea, we could go on for pages! In this post– we want to focus on one: the probation factor. In case you’re wondering, the evidence is quite clear: cohabitation doesn’t ‘divorce-proof’ a subsequent marriage – it actually increases…
Read MoreThe Father-in-Law from Heaven
When we marry, we not only gain a spouse, we also gain a family including a father-in-law. When we marry in the Christian faith we also get a heavenly Father-in-Law. BEFORE you start wondering which happy husband or wife is blessed with such a father-in-law – our own are pretty good, by the way –…
Read MoreMarriage or Matrimony?
Are you getting married ‘in the Church’ or simply ‘at a church’? People call a lot of things ‘marriage’. Everything from heterosexual cohabitation (common law marriage) to civil contracts (secular marriage) to the Judeo-Christian concept of covenant. In a Christian marriage there is a desire for the marriage to be open to the Lord and…
Read MoreGrowing in Love
The popularity of St Valentine’s Day grew out of the joy of celebrating romantic married love. The celebration also encourages us to renew and develop that love. God is love and this year we focus on one particular aspect of deepening the love of a couple, whether they are engaged or married – that is,…
Read MoreFinding Mr or Mrs Right
Many people think that the key to a successful marriage is finding the right person. Clearly there is some common sense to this notion – after all, having someone who shares your beliefs and values, has similar interests and is a person of virtue and integrity all make marriage a whole lot easier. And in…
Read MoreThe 11 Differences Between Dating a Boy vs a Man
*Original article available here* When I was in my early twenties, if a guy acted aloof, called back only sometimes and showed minimal interest, I would get hooked. You could say I was addicted to the bad boy/ unavailable boy/ player. I was drawn to what psychotherapist, Ken Page terms as “attractions of deprivation” –…
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