Love in the Waiting

  Advent is the season of waiting; we wait in anticipation of the coming of Christ. But are we the only ones doing the waiting? I (Francine) was hurrying to get out the door for 7am Mass. I looked at the time on the car clock and sighed in defeat: 6:58. There was no way…

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A Real-World Advent

  Fasting from devices to make room in our hearts and homes      Halfway through a supermarket dash last week, Francine’s watch alarm began buzzing insistently – the pavlova in the oven was done. Reaching for her phone, realisation hit – her digital lifeline was still at home!   Juggling the imminent arrival of family for…

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Gratitude: Plant Now, Reap Later

As we look forward to the new year, lots of us are making resolutions, setting goals, planning for the coming months. Most of our colleagues in the marriage education field are posting articles about setting relationship goals – an excellent idea, but we’d like to propose something different. It has been well established that gratitude…

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The Honey-Do List Standoff

  How do you get your husband to do the household jobs you really care about? How to do you get your wife to stop nagging and micromanaging?    These are questions to which almost every couple across the globe can relate; the never completed ‘To Do list’ wives prepare for their ‘honey’ on the…

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Martyrs for Marriage Through the Ages

While couple saints inspire us to emulate them in our homes, it’s the martyrs for marriage who embolden us in the public square.    Marriage – as God planned it – is foundational to revelation. Beginning in the creation of stories in Genesis (Ch1 & 2), marriage is central to how humankind images God. This…

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In marriage, you get what you look for

  Success in marriage can be as simple as looking for the right things. When we were dating, everything about the other seemed exciting and wonderful. Each discovery about the other was a delight. There were still the stuff ups and let downs, but we lived in an aura of good will, and such disappointments…

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Echoes from Childhood

Unpacking the hidden ways our earliest bonds influence love and trust in our adult relationships.  One of the most powerful topics in the SmartLoving Engaged course addresses formation in our family of origin. The family is where we first encounter love and learn to relate with others.   That’s why the Church calls the family “a…

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Three Tools for Better Conflict

  Every marriage has conflict. Two imperfect people sharing a home and dealing with all the pressures of modern life? It’s inevitable! But conflict doesn’t have to be destructive.   Whether it’s the sting of misunderstanding, silent withdrawal, passive aggression or a shouty, foot-stomping exchange, conflict shows up regularly in married life. Busyness, stress, and insufficient…

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Making the Connection…with Arguments

  Neither of us likes it when we disagree, yet we’ve had more than a few in our 28 years of marriage – some of them leading to horrible arguments. When disagreements descend into arguments, they usually become hurtful and unproductive, leaving us feeling bitter and exhausted. But are arguments all bad, or always harmful?…

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The Riskiest Place For Our Marriage

A while ago a viral video clip came to our attention. In the video, a marriage counsellor is responding to the claim that 85% of affairs begin at work.   While the insights presented were quite good, we were curious about the details as that 85% figure seemed high. After considerable searching, we eventually identified the…

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