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Deep Impact Conversations
“How was your day?” It’s one of the most common questions couples ask each other and either leads to a dead-end response like, “fine” or “busy” (which usually means “I don’t want to talk about it”), or a long-winded description of meetings, frustrations, errands and other ‘busy’ stuff. It’s what we call a ‘data transfer’…
Read MoreUnplanned Childlessness
“My daughters are in their thirties. They always hoped to marry and planned to be starting a family by now. It is so hard to see them grieving this loss.” It’s a common story we hear among our peers. Their single children are in their twenties, thirties and forties. Many of these are well past…
Read MoreOur Father-in-Awe
Earlier this week, Francine had a routine medical procedure. Predictably, one of the nurses asked, “Are you related to Professor Pirola?” She was referring to Byron’s father, a recently-retired medical specialist who enjoyed a long career in our local community. “Yes”, Francine replied, “He’s my father-in-awe”*. That brought a laugh, before the inevitable follow up…
Read MoreMarried Saints: There’s Hope for Us Yet!
As Catholics, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the REALLY holy people are only religious celibates. Afterall, most of the canonized saints were priests or religious sisters and brothers. Think past popes and the founders of religious orders… not many married people among those saints. Being a mere married couple, occupied…
Read MoreThe Art of Apology
Have you ever experienced the situation when someone has apologised but, while the words were said it lacked something, making it difficult for you to accept it? Sadly, most of us are not as good at apologising as we need to be. We think that it’s obvious, should just be instinctual, or that our love…
Read MoreSeven years – but who’s counting?
Some time ago, we were chatting with a man in his late twenties. He had been living with his girlfriend for some years, and she was restless: she wanted a commitment to marriage and family. After seven years together, he was still uncertain. In previous eras, the courtship sequence was simple: when a person was…
Read MoreGod is close to the lonely
Towards the end of July we celebrate World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly. This year (2024) the theme is loneliness and references Ps 71:9 “Do not cast me off in my old age”. Loneliness is defined as ‘a subjective, unwelcome feeling of lack (or loss) of companionship’. It’s different to ‘aloneness’ which describes ‘the…
Read MoreCouple Decision Making
Behind every behaviour or decision that you make, is a value; something that you hold in high esteem and is advanced in some way by the action. For example, making the choice to work back late, may reflect any one of a number of values, such as: having pride in doing a job well, reducing…
Read MoreWhen I am winning, WE are usually losing
“You can either be right, or you can be one, but you can’t be both”. Our mentors were talking to us about a frustrating argument, and we were both digging in. They were right, of course, but we struggled to put it into practice. It would not be the last time either. Like just this…
Read MoreProtesting Against Disconnection
Have you ever had an argument and been left wondering what it was actually about? We can remember a number of occasions where we dug in and defended our opinion with great vigor, only to find ourselves twenty minutes later losing track of what we were defending. Somehow, the original point of disagreement – which…
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