Posts Tagged ‘relationship’
Success Breeds Success
You Don’t Need to Fail in Order to Succeed A lot of people think that having a few failed relationships is helpful in preparing them for marriage. Some even go as so far as seeing the first marriage itself as a ‘training ground’ for the grand love that is expected to follow. They…
Read MorePositive Thinking
Capitalise on the Positive Most marriage counselling and education focuses on conflict and incompatibility. It seeks to help couples find constructive ways of dealing with challenges in the relationship. It’s a kind of ‘damage control’ approach that seeks to minimize the impact of negative experiences. One of the strategies for couples that is often…
Read MoreWar and Peace on the Home Front
Every nation remembers the sacrifice of their war veterans with a Memorial Day. Thinking about your marriage: is it more of a battlefield than the safe harbour it is intended to be? Through our work with couples, we often encounter those in embattled relationships. They’ve become trapped in a fractious pattern where almost every interaction…
Read MoreDeep Impact Conversations
“How was your day?” It’s one of the most common questions couples ask each other and either leads to a dead-end response like, “fine” or “busy” (which usually means “I don’t want to talk about it”), or a long-winded description of meetings, frustrations, errands and other ‘busy’ stuff. It’s what we call a ‘data transfer’…
Read MoreExperience is not always the best teacher
Lots of people think that dating (and being sexually intimate) with a number of different people before marriage is an essential part of forming a successful union. But is this kind of ‘experience’ the best way to prepare for marriage? Many people think that having a few failed relationships is helpful in preparing them (or…
Read MoreMaking a change for the better
Change is difficult. It can also be complicated. Despite our best intentions, sustained change often eludes us. We’ve had many spouses tell us that their husband or wife promised to change, and things were good for a while, but then there was a relapse. Their good intentions were not enough to sustain their energy for…
Read MorePerfectly Imperfect Marriages
Despite the promises of Hollywood and fairytales, the perfect marriage is the one that helps us grow the most. And that’s not likely to be a marriage without hardship or trouble. Yesterday, as we were preparing to run a training session later on, we had ‘one’. An argument of sorts. It was more like a ‘splat’…
Read MoreThat Romantic Atmosphere
On Friday afternoon we went on a bush walk with Byron’s work colleagues. Although we were with other people, we so enjoyed the time together. Walking is remarkably therapeutic for us… perhaps it’s the natural environment or maybe it’s simply the absence of the constant phone, email and text distraction. Whatever it is, is not…
Read MoreMarriage Lessons from a Dog Trainer
A few months ago, our young Australian Shepherd went to doggie boot camp. Over five weeks she was trained by professional dog-handlers to walk calmly, socialise nicely and keep her focus under the pressure of distractions. Video footage taken by the trainers proved she was capable. What really remained was the question: can her owners be similarly trained? When the time came to…
Read MoreWalking the Talk is More Than You Think
This morning a friend from Canberra forwarded us a reflection on walking called: Keep Moving. It noted that walking was good for physical health but that it is also good for spiritual health. It recalled the many stories of the New Testament where Jesus and/or the disciples were walking, not just physically from one place…
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