More than “I’m Sorry”

Saying sorry and asking for forgiveness are two very different factors in resolving arguments. Saying Sorry is Simple We were in the midst of yet another disagreement. We were both hurt, and we knew it was time to let go of our case and make up. But it’s hard to say sorry. It’s even harder…

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Going From Good To Better

Marital health is about more than minimizing conflict. If we want to go from ‘good’ to ‘better’ we need to capitalise on the positives. Most marriage counselling and education focuses on conflict and incompatibility. It seeks to help couples find constructive ways of dealing with challenges in the relationship. It’s a ‘damage control’ approach that…

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Three Ways to a Better Advent

The Church New Year begins with Advent and is a season of preparation ahead of the birthday of Jesus. Beginning four Sundays before Christmas Day, it’s intended to be a period of intensified spiritual activity.   Yet this time of year for most families is already over-full. Between graduations, corporate Christmas parties and extended retail hours,…

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Knowing what to love

You can’t love what you don’t know. This saying has profoundly influenced our marriage and our faith. About once a decade we book tickets to the opera in the expectation of a romantic date night brimming with artistic delight. We have to confess though, we usually come home vaguely disappointed. Not being particularly musical, we…

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The Growth Mindset

At our daughter’s recent award assembly, the school Principal addressed the topic of ‘Growth Mindset’. She noted how education was more than merely preparing students for exams and aiming for maximum marks on their university entrance ranking. In a country where we have national examinations of all school children every two years from the age…

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Together again… for stronger and better

Contrary to popular belief, separation does not always end in divorce. Well supported, the process of separation can help a couple address their problems and reconcile stronger and better. Reconciliation between separated couples is not that uncommon – about 10-15% according to some commentators. Although headed for divorce, these couples reversed course and repaired their…

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Power of Prayer

Prayer does not change God, it does not always change the situation, but it does change the heart of the person praying. Many people do not trust prayer, or doubt it’s power to have an impact. After all, we’ve all had experiences of praying earnestly for something, only to be disappointed when what we sought…

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Sexual Integrity in a Messed-up World

Last month we convened a national symposium to explore how we, as a church community, might pastorally respond more effectively to those impacted by pornography. While not a fun topic, it is an important one. Important for three reasons. Firstly, pornography usage has been normalised and is now endemic, and not just among men, or…

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Three Tips for Trust

Relationships thrive when trust is strong. But how do we build it in the first instance, and then recover it if we’ve lost it? Here are three tips to help you build trust and hold on to it. 1: Keep your promises We all know major betrayals, like an affair, are a clear violation of…

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Making marriage last is all in the Intention

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No matter how easy it may seem to fall in love, staying in love requires attention and effort. We all start out in marriage bright in hope and full of brimming love. Yet rarely do those wonderful, euphoric experiences of early love persist unabated; for many of us disillusionment creeps its way into our consciousness…

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