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Listening with the Heart
The first step towards the kind of active listening that will facilitate an experience of intimacy is to examine some of our normal responses to the other’s personal sharing of what’s going on inside them. Resistance People tend to block the sharing of their emotions when the listener reacts defensively or signals that they don’t…
Read MoreLevels of Intimacy
Emotional intelligence refers to a person’s ability to understand their own and other people’s emotional life. Some people are very bright academically but can be quite inept when it comes to relationships and self-awareness. Others have a natural ability in this area. Nonetheless, it is possible for us all to expand and develop our emotional…
Read MoreCommunication
It is helpful to make a distinction between communicating for information and communicating for intimacy. Communicating for information is all about getting the facts and understanding the message. It’s more about the transmission of information than about relationship. The goal of communicating for intimacy, on the other hand, is to know one another at a…
Read MoreGratitude
Extension Activities Gratitude is like a wonder drug! While many people turn to escapist distractions, the simple habit of gratitude is often more effective, and more enduring in its impact, in helping us to find the joy we seek. Gratitude Journal “Give thanks to God in all things” – 1 Thes 5:18 St Paul beseeches…
Read MoreMy Dream for Our Marriage
Extension Activity: Your Dream Write What is your dream for your relationship with each other? What would your ideal marriage look like? Describe a typical day or week in the marriage of your dreams. Be specific! How much eye contact would you have? How open would you be with your emotions, hopes, and dreams? Would…
Read MorePurity of Heart
Theology of the Body Insight “Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God.” Matthew 5:8 To be pure of heart means to be able to love another without self-interest; to set aside our own self-centred desires in order to love as a pure and unselfish gift of self. This purity of heart…
Read MoreAffirmation
Consistent, sincere affirmation has the capacity to heal the wounds of inadequacy from which so many of us suffer. It communicates acceptability and lovableness. It lifts us up, and helps us feel better about ourselves. However, the power of affirmation is not limited to the recipient only. The person making the affirmation is also transformed.…
Read MoreSmartLoving
Loving the way my fiancé likes to be loved Every person experiences love in a unique way. Some gestures of love will more powerfully communicate love to you than others. For example, some people feel close and connected when they can physically touch the other person. Others demonstrate love through words of affirmation or affection,…
Read MoreLove as Gift
In our culture, ‘love’ is generally seen to be an ‘emotion’. We fall into love and we fall out of it. Love is something that just happens to us; we can’t help falling in and out of love. In fact, ‘love’ is a choice. True love is a conscious, deliberate choice to make a gift…
Read MoreTo Cherish and Respect
Each of you, however, should love [agape] his wife as himself, and let every wife respect her husband. Eph 5:33 When St Paul wrote these words 2000 years ago he was keenly aware of the differences between the sexes and so he deliberately gave husbands and wives different instructions on how to live a successful…
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