A couple exercise to recognise your habits, both good and bad, in relation to your spouse and understand the values behind each of your expressions of emotion.
ReflectSeparately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions.
Write some notes and then share your answers more fully with your spouse.
When is the last time I talked to You about Jesus and what he means to me?
He’s always there for me, Father. I don’t know what my life would be like without him.
It is simply incredible, how much he loves and cares for me.
Give me some of your special love for him to fill out my own.
I am sending him to You to seek this favor for me. Amen.
- In what ways do you usually express affection: (e.g. hand holding, arm around shoulder, hug when greeting an old friend, etc.)? Do you find physical expression of your feelings difficult?
- Do you cry easily? Do you cry rarely? Do you laugh easily? Do you laugh rarely? Do you look into the other person’s eyes when you speak? when you listen?
- Do you find it easy/difficult to say “I love you”?
- Do you think that good communication can take place during a disagreement or fight? Why? Why not?
- When you are hurt, what do you do? (e.g., sulk, express anger, want to talk it out, take it out on someone close, withdraw)?
- When you know you’ve hurt someone, what do you do? (e.g., blame others, avoid them, want to talk about it, hope they’ll get over it)?
- What barriers do you need to overcome in order to communicate fairly and positively during a fight?
- Write a letter to your spouse expressing your love and affection for him/her. Relive some memories of special closeness with him/her. Recall some moments of fun, pain, fear, joy. Write all these down. Thank your spouse, this very special person, for specific qualities which you see in him/her. Tell him/her how these qualities enrich your life.