Two of Us: Disillusionment
ReflectSeparately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions.
Write some notes and then share your answers more fully with your spouse.
You certainly made a funny kind of daughter/son, when You made me.
I’m like the weather, Father. You never know what I am going to be like.
I can be sunny one moment and, all of a sudden, cloudy the next.
Let me recognize that You have given me control over my moods,
that I don’t have to let them dominate me.
I ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.
1a. The following is a list of symptoms which indicates disillusionment in the intimacy of a relationship. Put an x next to any symptom which you think applies, ever, to your relationship with your spouse. Either on your part or that of spouse.
1b. Now go back and put an xx next to any symptom which you think applies, ever, to your relationships with your child/children. If the symptom seems particularly applicable to a specific child, write the initial or name next to the xx.
___ Sense of being treated as less by other
___ Sense of being made the expert
___ Intimidation – feeling cowed
___ Silent treatment
___ Peace at any price
___ Other has to come out on top
___ Feelings of jealousy – distrusted
___ Feelings of insecurity
___ Being Used
___ Indifference to each others problems
___ Fault Finding
___ Boredom, indifference
___ Feeling like old sock
___ A sense of not being listened to
___ A sense of not feeling responded to
___ Teasing with a barb
___ Escapes such as: TV, sports, “headache,” alcohol organizations and clubs, need to always be with other people, reading, cleaning, etc.
___ Talking about things or third parties
___ Absence of touching
___ Lack of politeness
2. Which of the problems of disillusionment, which I marked in intimacy are most damaging?
3. Which of the symptoms (marked) is most caused by your own behavior?
4. Where do I have to change so we can be more intimate?
5. In what ways do these symptoms and my behavior affect my sexual relationship with my spouse?