The Rise of the Fur Baby
Fur babies: substitute child, family asset or living therapy doll? In this blog we discuss some different views on the rise of the Fur Baby culture.
For years, our daughter pleaded with us for a dog – every birthday, every Christmas, the same earnest plea. And for years, we had our stock reply: “We’d have another baby before we got a dog.”
Then menopause arrived stripping away our last excuse. Our girl was eighteen that year and when we finally said yes, she fought back the tears.
Enter Koda – the stunning Australian Shepherd with the movie-star coat (that sheds everywhere) and a personality that flips to ‘psycho’ around strangers. She’s not exactly low maintenance, but we’ve grown to love her.
While Koda no longer lives with us, she visits regularly and recently stayed for two weeks while ‘mummy’ took a vacation. She’ll alternately delight us and frustrate us as she terrorises visitors and the possums who visit each night.
The Rise of the Fur Child
Our family is not alone in this pet-parenting adventure. Across public spaces, pets are entering domains traditionally reserved for humans.
We spot them at cafes and shopping centres: dogs perched in pet-prams and puddles of pee deposited next to the butcher shop.
At a restaurant last month, a fellow guest brought his Alsatian along and set him up on one of the beanbags in the far corner of the courtyard. The dog didn’t bother any guests, but it seems like the distinction between human and animal are blurring in our culture.
There is lots to like about pets, but at the same time something about this phenomenon feels a little ‘off’ – or more accurately, sad. We can’t help wondering if the proliferation of pets in human spaces is symptomatic of the vacuum of fulfilling human relationships and the epidemic of loneliness.
We all long for connection and stability in our relationships. When intimate human relationships feel uncertain, shallow, risky or just plain scarce, pets fill empty nests and comfort the isolated.
Substitute Children?
Lately, some Catholic commentators have raised concerns at how pets seem to be edging out children in modern life. They are critical of indulgent pet owners who shun having children yet will burn a hole in their wallet funding their fur baby.
Even Pope Francis weighed in, twice suggesting that people who prefer pets to children are selfish (Jan 2022, Sep 2024). His comments triggered a storm of complaints from some – and a chorus of cheers from others.
There is a reasonable basis for this commentary. Australians spend about twice as much each year on pets as the government does on childhood education and care (0-4yrs). The cost of caring for a dog each year is more than the one-time payment of Treasurer Peter Costello’s famous 2002 ‘baby bonus’ payment. These are sobering statistics.
In a culture that is increasingly anti-child, we are concerned by this trend. Yet we know the picture isn’t black-and-white.
There are singles who aspire to be parents but can’t find a suitable partner with whom to form a family. Financial insecurity pushes couples to delay parenting and some face the challenge of infertility that may or may not resolve with time.
In that in-between period, a pet often steps in, providing an outlet for their owner’s overflow of love. While the decline of the marriage and family culture is part of the picture, it’s too simplistic to reduce this issue to pets versus children.
Challenging ourselves
All this has led us to some sobering reflections as to whether we are as pro-child as we like to believe; whether we are unwitting contributors to a pro-pet over a pro-child culture.
We tolerate a dog in the restaurant, but would we be as generous towards a young couple with their fussing baby trying to have a date night? Are we more amenable to ‘dog sitting’ for a few weeks than to having the grandkids over for a long weekend?
Sure, children are harder work than pets but then isn’t that kind of the point? If we’re not willing to pitch in and share the load of parenting, what message does that send to prospective parents?
In our family of six grandchildren and three ‘grand puppies’, we ourselves need to examine our attitudes before we cast judgement on others.
Here in the UK we see the same behaviours. I love animals (and regret the abusive ‘puppy farming’ that has emerged to cash in on demand.) They deserve respect and care in return for all the benefits they bring us.
At the same time I will never get over the wonder of watching a child at play, sharing thoughts with a young person or seeing a baby gazing with pure love at her/his parents. Children cost us money and strain our bodies, they are far harder to care for day and night than a pet and they may break our hearts when they reach independence. Yes, I can see the wonder of God’s creation in our Maine Coon cat – but I was brought to tears recently when I asked my grandson to stand up and then coaxed him to step forward and walk to me for the first time. His joy in the ensuing embrace was huge.
Some people are not able to have children and some lose them. We should do all we can to support and understand those suffering such harrowing losses and help them to achieve parenthood if possible. But for couples who can bear children, and for women who conceive and then wonder about bringing their child to birth I would plead – please be open to the gift of a new life. It may be hard but you will discover a whole new level of love, that God only can understand, in being Mother and/or Father.
I think the problem here is with people’s manners and etiquette in public places, as a Catholic wife and the owner of two cats, I personally don’t see children in the same way as animals. They don’t replace children, they are just very different. They are indeed animals. They require different care and attention. Of course children are harder to look after. I do think that the ‘blurring’ between pets and children, can often be an issue negatively assumed by people who don’t own pets, but do have children. People who have no children, usually are not claiming to be replacing children with pets; they just love animals and are often open to life. It’s not pleasant when people with children cast judgement on those who do not, simply because they love animals. Maybe some people do see animals as a replacement for children, I am sure there are some who do. But they don’t represent all pet owners/animal lovers. Animal welfare, charity work and rescue are such valuable vocations. Life does not look the same for everyone and we should be accepting of this. I think the problem lies more in the decline of basic manners and etiquette in public spaces. People are lacking consideration and empathy for others when they take their animals to places they shouldn’t be (excluding guide/service dogs).