Description
Welcome to SmartLoving Engaged
SmartLoving Engaged is an on-demand course that will lead you and your fiancé through your marriage preparation process.
With 9 lessons in total – each taking about 1.5 hours to complete – we recommend that you do one lesson a week and take your time to understand the content and practice the life-changing tools you will be learning.
Choose your option
Enrol now and get instant access
Only 1 enrolment is required per couple
Option 1
Self-Paced
COURSE ACCESS ONLY
Price:
2 years course access
Together as a couple, work through the course on your own
Workbook PDF provided - you'll need to print 2 copies of the workbook yourself
Option 2
SELF-PACED
course access with workbooks
Price:
2 years course access
Together as a couple, work through the course on your own
1 pair of printed workbooks (shipped to one address)
Option 3
Accompanied by a
LOCAL MENTOR
Price:
2 years course access
Mentor organised by your parish or chosen from your personal network
2 pairs of printed workbooks, one pair for you and your partner and another one for your mentor couple. (shipped to one address)
Mentor Information
What is a Mentor Couple?
A Mentor Couple is a married couple from the Parish or your own personal network who volunteers to work through the SmartLoving Engaged course at the same time as you and your fiancé. You and your mentor couple can meet up at the parish, at each other’s home, or via Zoom or FaceTime to discuss the questions at the end of each lesson. You can arrange with your mentor couple how often you would like to meet and be flexible according to both your schedules. A mentor couple is a wonderful support to an engaged couple as they can share their insights and wisdom with you from their lived experience as a Married couple and support you as you prepare for the Sacrament of Marriage.
Finding a Mentor Couple
Even if you are getting married overseas or in another church, the parish where you live is the best place to find a Mentor couple. Mentors do not need training – they simply do the course in parallel: while you do the Engaged course online at home, they do the Mentor course online at their home. When you get together, you use the questions in your workbooks to guide your discussion.
Mentor couples should have the following criteria:
- Validly married in the Church five+ years
- Regular attendees at your parish
- Not a close relative or friend
Need help finding a Mentor Couple?
You can ask your local parish priest or another parish member to introduce you to some suitable couples who you can invite to be your sponsors.
Alternatively, our SmartLoving Coaching sessions might be for you! All our Coaches are trained in the SL methodology and are living Catholic marriage joyfully.
Our Guarantee
Nihil Obstat: Most Rev. Michael Kennedy, Bishop of Armidale
Imprimatur: +Most Reverend Anthony Fisher OP, Archbishop of Sydney
June 13, 2019
The SmartLoving Engaged curriculum is approved for use in numerous dioceses throughout Australia, New Zealand, the UK, USA and Asia. It has been favourably reviewed by the Pontifical Council of the Family and is the fruit of three decades of experience working with engaged and married couples.
Course Overview
Get the lowdown on how to navigate the course:
- Order or download the PDF to print your workbooks
- Get tips for getting the most out of it
- Complete your Registration form
This session introduces the concept of Smart Loving - a practical insight designed to make your efforts to love more efficient by helping you learn the specific ways in which your fiancé experiences love. Learn how gratitude and affirmation can transform your life and your relationship.
Using the L.I.F.E. communication framework, you will learn how to communicate effectively and intimately with each other. A technique for accomplishing Emotional Communion (empathy) is also taught along with practical tips for everyday communication.
A detailed examination of your attitudes and beliefs about roles, work, family traditions, children, sexuality and marriage, looking particularly at your family of origin. The impact of other significant relationships is also addressed along with a strategy for processing emotional injuries.
Evaluate your priorities and examine your expectations for your future life together. Learn how to use the Stop-Reflect-Connect tool for values-based decision- making so that you can make genuine couple decisions that will always bring you closer.
Examine the dynamics that lead to conflict and learn how to avoid it. Unpack your conflict patterns and learn strategies for healing your relationship after an argument or hurt. Learn how to restore your unity with the Stop-LIFE- Reflect-Connect - a powerful process of reconciliation.
Discover how marital sex is an intimate communication rather than just a recreational activity; a powerful resource for healing, reconciliation and the rejuvenation. The theology of sex as a sacramental gesture and a renewal of wedding vows is explored.
Discover the wonder of human fertility and learn how to live harmoniously with your bodies in a way that protects your health and honours the creator. Discuss your family goals and learn how to achieve them with modern, effective Fertility Awareness Methods.
Learn about the sacramentality of marriage and how a Catholic marriage differs from a secular one. Discuss the commitment you are making on your wedding day and prepare your wedding liturgy.
Explore your unique spirituality and unlock the power of spiritual intimacy. Learn how to pray together and what to pray for. Reflect on your learning and design your marital fitness plan to take you into marriage.
Complete your end of course questionnaire and press submit to receive your certificate and course report.
All options include:
2 years access to Engaged course
Certificate & Celebrant's Report
Wedding Ceremony Guide
SmartLoving Fertility – Online Instruction in Fertility Awareness Methods
Newlywed Date Nites - Support for your first year
Subscription to SL eNews and special offers
Access to exclusive member content
Engaged FAQs
Marriage preparation is a process to help you and your fiancée prepare for married life. Just like having a healthy diet helps prevent you getting sick, and recover more quickly when you do, marriage preparation is the same for your relationship. Studies have shown that couples who do good quality marriage preparation have a lower rate of divorce and better relationship resilience when hard times inevitably come.
Moreover, Catholic marriage (Matrimony) comes with additional obligations. It's important that you understand these before you commit to them.
SmartLoving has been working with couples for over three decades and we have refined all our insights to bring you a comprehensive course that gives you and your fiancée a safe space to ask the important questions and put your love on a solid foundation.
SmartLoving Engaged is suitable for all couples preparing for marriage in the Catholic Church. The course caters for couples of all ages, experience and religious backgrounds.
If you are a long-distance couple, frequent travelers, shift worker, or have caring commitments, SmartLoving Engaged is the perfect course for you that is both high-quality, comprehensive and flexible.
We also have many civilly married couples preparing for a Catholic recommitment ceremony and also newlyweds. The material is timeless and even mature married couples find it valuable.
At the end of each Lesson, you will complete an online quiz designed to ensure that you have understood the key concepts. You need at least 80% to advance to the next lesson and quizzes may not be attempted until you have spent a minimum one hour in the lesson. Quiz questions can be previewed in the workbooks.
At the end of the course, you will do an assessment whereby each of you separately complete a series of short answer questions. Your answers are then compiled into a report for your celebrant who may want to discuss some of your answers with you. A certificate is also generated at this time.
To make it easier for you, the questions are provided in the workbook so that you can draft your answers before you submit them. It's not a test and there are no wrong answers. The purpose of the quizzes and assessment is to help us support you and ensure that you've mastered concepts, frameworks and tools.
Yes! Your final documentation includes a certificate and a report compiling your answers to your final assessment/feedback.
Not only will your celebrant (or local priest supervisor if marrying overseas) have evidence that you have completed your marriage prep, he will have a chance to clarify anything and offer you and your partner additional support as needed.
No. There is no expiry date on your course report or certificate.
You will get the certificate when you complete all 9 lessons of the course and after you have submitted the final assessment. The certificate will be sent automatically to you via email and it will also be sent to your supervisor priest (if you have entered his email address in the supervisor field of the form).
The course has a total of nine lessons that take about 1.5 hours each to complete. We recommend that you do one lesson per week so that you have time to practice the tools and complete all the activities. Most participants take around 10-12 weeks, spending a few hours each week actively engaging with the material.
Course time locks record your total active time spent on the platform and unlock the lesson quiz once one hour has elapsed in that lesson.
You can of course, work completely at your own pace and take as little or as much time as you need. However, you can not do the course justice if you aim to complete it in less than three weeks. The material is comprehensive and really requires in-between lesson time to use the tools in your daily life so that you experience the benefits.
So don't be too hasty! Couples who rush the course generally report lower satisfaction and rate the benefits of the course lower than those who take their time. We know it's a busy time for you, so get started early in your engagement so that you can take the time you need to really get the most from this.
SmartLoving Engaged Online is flexibly designed to provide you with the best possible formation experience.
- Ideally, you will have a Mentor Couple from your local parish to accompany you through the course, allowing you to interact with a Catholic married couple, discussing the key concepts and personal insights. If your celebrant/parish doesn't offer this option, you may have a suitable couple in your network who you can ask to be your sponsors. They simply enroll in the 'Mentor' version of the course and do the course in parallel with you. For more information, please send Mentors here.
- Celebrant/Supervisor or other parish minister may wish to interact with you throughout the course either individually or in groups. The course is fully self-contained so you can begin the first lesson immediately and progress at your own pace.
- Our online support includes our monitored forum where you can interact with our global community and a quick access help form if you need technical assistance.
- For more direct support you can purchase a coaching session with one of our accredited SL Coaches.
In all cases, your Celebrant/Supervisor will be able to review your learning with you at the conclusion of the course. When you get to the last Lesson, you will complete the assessment and your answers will be included with in your certificate for your celebrant to review.
All you need is a computer/tablet/mobile device with high-speed internet access, the printed workbook for you and your partner and a pen.
It is a comprehensive course that uses the power of paper and digital media to guide you through interpersonal activities with your partner.
Your course comes with a digital PDF (200 pages) of the printed handouts with permission to print one each for you. It is available to download at Lesson 0: Admin as a complete set. Alternatively, you can buy the printed copy by choosing option 2.
You cannot complete the course adequately without the workbooks.
We give you two options:
- Option 1: Print 2 copies of the workbook (a PDF download is available in Lesson 0 | Admin).
- Option 2 (recommended): Order printed workbooks by choosing option 2 on this page.
Q: We live in the UK but will be getting married in a Church in Italy. Will the certificate and course report be recognised by the Catholic Church overseas?
A: Yes. You will get a course report and certificate that should be accepted by your local priest/deacon (where you live) and then you can share that same report and certificate with the priest/deacon who will be your celebrant overseas.
Extra information: Usually it will be your local priest/deacon who is responsible for preparing you (supervising you) as you prepare for the Sacrament of Marriage.
We call them your "supervisor" and it will be important to have their full name and email address on file because we will ask you to input it when you complete your Final Assessment. The course report and certificate will be sent to them (and to you) via email.
We recommend that your supervisor priest/deacon meets with you after you have completed the 9 lessons, to go through your course report and certificate.
After that stage you can email the celebrant priest (who is marrying you overseas) letting them know that you have completed your marriage formation.
SmartLoving Suggestion: We would suggest that you email both your local parish priest, as well as the priest who will be your celebrant overseas before you start the course and let them know that you will be enrolling in the SmartLoving Engaged online course to prepare for the Sacrament of Marriage.
If they want more information about the course, you can send them this link: https://smartloving.org/engaged-online-leaders/
We suggest you email both priests because that way everyone will be on the same page and you should not have any problems.
Here is a template email that you can adapt and use:
Dear [insert the name of your local parish priest/deacon where you live],
My fiancé (insert first name, last name) and I (insert your full name), will be getting married overseas in [insert country of wedding] on [insert date, month, year].
We will be leaving [insert name of country where you live] on [insert day, month] to travel for the wedding.
We wish to prepare for the Sacrament of Marriage by using the SmartLoving Engaged Online formation course which has ecclesiastical approval and is used by thousands of couples in Australia, USA, UK, and Asia.
We would like to ask if you could be our supervisor, which means that you would be required to meet with us at the end of the course to go through our course report and certificate. If you would like more information about what is involved, please visit this link: https://smartloving.org/engaged-online-leaders/
If you agree to being our supervisor we need your name, email, and phone number to share with SmartLoving.
Thank you for considering supporting us as we prepare for marriage, and we look forward to your response.
Kind regards,
[insert your name and your fiancé’s name].
Should you need to contact us our details are below:
[Insert your name, email address, phone number].
[Insert your fiancé’s name, email address, and phone number.
SmartLoving Suggestion: We would also suggest that you send an email to the overseas celebrant priest.
Dear [insert name of the parish priest overseas],
Thank you for being our wedding celebrant! We are being prepared for the Sacrament of Marriage locally under the supervision of [insert name of parish priest/deacon] who ministers at [insert local parish name, suburb, country] and who we have copied into this email.
We are preparing for the Sacrament of Marriage by completing the SmartLoving Engaged Online formation course which has ecclesiastical approval and is used by thousands of couples in Australia, USA, UK and Asia.
If you would like more information about the course visit: https://smartloving.org/engaged-online-leaders/
When we have completed the course, we will send you (via email) our course report and certificate which will prove our participation in the marriage preparation course.
We look forward to you being our celebrant on [insert wedding day, month, year] in your parish [insert overseas parish name, suburb, country]
Kind regards,
[insert your name and your fiancé’s name].
Should you need to contact us our details are below:
[Insert your name, email address, phone number].
[Insert your fiancé’s name, email address, and phone number.
Some terms that we use within the course include...
Celebrant:
Your Celebrant is the Priest or the Deacon that will preside over your wedding.
Supervisor:
Your Supervisor is the Priest, Deacon or Parish Leader, who is responsible for making sure you are properly prepared for the Sacrament of Marriage. *
Diocese:
Every parish community and Catholic Church is situated within a larger Diocese (or Archdiocese). Each Diocese has a Bishop or an Archbishop. During the Engaged Online course we will ask you which Diocese you are preparing for marriage in?
If you do not know, please ask your priest or email the parish where you are getting married, ask them to confirm which Diocese they belong to.
*In the case of an overseas wedding for example if there was an engaged couple that lived in Sydney, Australia but was getting married in Fiji.
Their Supervisor would be their local priest who is responsible for preparing them for the Sacrament.
The Celebrant would be the priest in Fiji who will preside the wedding.
In most situations a couple's Celebrant and Supervisor will be their parish priest. For example if you are preparing for marriage in your local parish and getting married at your local parish then your parish priest/deacon will be both your Celebrant and your Supervisor.
A Mentor Couple is a married couple who accompanies you throughout your preparation for marriage and is available to you as a mentor.
You don't need a Mentor Couple to complete the course as it is fully self-contained. However, a Mentor couple will greatly improve your experience and provides you with ongoing encouragement.
Some celebrants or parish priests will require you to have a Mentor, and some make it optional. They will usually be referred to you by your celebrant or parish priest from among the parish couples.
Ideally, your Mentor will be a couple with whom you have a natural affinity and from whom you can learn. If you want to recruit your own Mentor Couple from among your networks we recommend the following criteria:
- Married at least five years, preferably with children.
- In a valid Catholic marriage, regularly attends church.
- Not a close relative or friend.
Every enrolment in SL Engaged includes free access to the Mentor course. After you have asked a Mentor couple to mentor you ask them to visit: www.smartloving.org/mentor so that they can enrol. This course has the same content as the Engaged course but does not provide a certificate and can not be used by engaged couples.
Q: My Fiancée lives in a different country. Do we both use the same login and do the course together, or do we have to purchase an individual course separately?
A: You should both use the same login and do the SmartLoving Engaged online course together. You only need to purchase one course enrolment which the both of you will access. Many couples that live in different countries will meet via video call technology such as Whatsapp, Zoom, FaceTime or MsTeams to go through the SmartLoving Engaged lessons, online activities and discussion questions as a couple. By doing this you will be properly prepared for the Sacrament of Marriage.
Both formats cover the same content.
- The online course is organised as nine 1.5 hour lessons. You do each lesson at your own pace and on your own schedule, taking as much time as you need for each lesson. If you have a Mentor Couple, you'll get the opportunity to review what you are learning and to hear their wisdom and insights in your meetings.
- The live course is organised as six 2 hour sessions with approx 1 hour per session of take home activities. Mentors are trained to facilitate the course, usually from their own home if it is couple-to-couple. Some parishes and dioceses run the live version for groups in church facilities which gives participants the opportunity to meet other engaged couples.
No. You only need ONE enrolment for the both of you.
You can access the course from two different devices simultaneously or share access from one device - the choice is yours.
Don't worry! You can't fail the course and our goal is to equip you for success in your marriage so we're committed to seeing you flourish.
- To progress through the course, you will need to get at least 80% in each quiz. The questions are straight forward and can be previewed in your workbooks.
- We want to make sure that you've understood the concepts and applied the tools - that's why the 'pass' mark is 80% rather than 50%.
- If you get under 80% our system will direct you to the sections you need to revisit. When you've done this, attempt the quiz again. When you get to 80%, the next lesson will unlock and you can progress.
Don't stress! If you haven't checked in for a while, our built in reminder system will send you a friendly email prompt.
While it may still be months from your wedding, we know from experience that couples who delay their preparation end up having to cram in the last few weeks - the busiest weeks of the engagement period!
We want you to get the best value from the course, so we'll be sure to send you a reminder if we haven't seen you for more than a week.
And your registration includes access for two years, so you should have plenty of time to complete the course and revisit the lessons for a refresher during your first year of marriage.
The Engaged course content and workbook is written in English however the course videos have closed captions that have been translated into Polish and Spanish and we are working on creating closed captions in additional languages. If you would like to request a language please email [email protected].
The SmartLoving website is also compatible with Google Translate. For instructions on how to use the Google Translate extension within any SmartLoving course click here.
Q: My fiancée is in India and I live in Australia. She is doing a marriage preparation course in India and my priest referred me to do the SmartLoving course in Australia?
Can I do the SmartLoving course by myself?
A: No. you cannot.
The SmartLoving Engaged course needs to be completed by both people. You should use the same username and password to log in to the course. You can watch the videos at different times but you should arrange to meet via video call to go through the Discussion questions as a couple this is very important.
We recognise that many couples are experiencing financial distress, and the cost of the wedding can add to this. Our course price is a very reasonable (compared to other providers) but if this is still beyond your means please email us at [email protected]
If you purchased the printed workbooks they should arrive in 3-10 business days.
- Australian orders are dispatched from our warehouse in Melbourne.
- UK orders are dispatched from our volunteer's home in London.
- USA orders will be dispatched from our warehouse in Illinois.
If you live regionally please allow more time for your workbooks to arrive.
If you need a tracking number and have not been emailed one (check your junk mail), please contact us via [email protected]
Additional information
| Choose your option | Option 1 – Self-Paced ($90), Option 2 – Self-Paced with workbooks ($142), Option 3 – Local Mentor ($148) |
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