Posts Tagged ‘other-centered giving’
Christmas Crazies!
If there is one thing that takes the edge off our Christmas joy, it’s the pressure of the consumer culture to give better, more unique, and thoughtful presents for an increasing multitude of people. No matter how much we criticize the materialistic values that dominate Christmas, every year, we get sucked into the eleventh hour…
Read More#4 Communication
Communication is one of the key topics that couples say is so important. While most engaged couples believe they are great at communication, many married couples say they could use some help. What’s going on? Did these couples somehow unlearn how to communicate? Join us as we explore communication – the pitfalls, the benefits, and…
Read MoreRomantic Love: Feeling or Choice?
From Hollywood to Cleo, the cultural representations of Romantic Love are clear: it’s a spontaneous feeling of attraction and affection for another. And like all feelings, we don’t choose it: it’s something that just happens to us. We spontaneously ‘fall’ into love and we are powerless to prevent it. To be sure when it strikes,…
Read MoreKnot Yet! #5: Responsibility Phobia
What comes first, maturity or the responsibility? In the world of adultescence, the absence of the necessity to be responsible, delays maturity. Most of us look back at adolesence and shiver – it’s a tough time developmentally when the young person is reaching for independence but doesn’t quite have the mental resources to cope with adulthood. Many…
Read MoreThe Marriage Myth
Part 5 in the Quest for Happiness Series Too many times have we heard the complaint – “I’m just not happy in this marriage anymore”. For couples today, personal happiness has become the measure of whether a marriage is ‘working’. The mass media and our romantic fantasies conspire to convince us that we have a…
Read MoreKnot Yet! #2: Age does matter…sort of
Does age matter when it comes to marriage survival? Almost everyone has an opinion, so let’s do some fact checking! It seems like good advice – well-meaning parents offer it all the time… “you’re too young to get married, you don’t know what you want from life yet.” In fact, the prevailing ‘wisdom’ of the…
Read MoreGender Differences: tolerated or celebrated?
For several dark decades last century, the god of political correctness demanded that we speak, think and act as though men and women were essentially identical. Thankfully, common sense has prevailed and it is now more acceptable to speak of gender differences. In fact, most of the best comedic literature on heterosexual relationships draw their…
Read MoreLoving Smart
How to Love Over many years we’ve come to realise that most of our mistakes in love come from the assumption that everyone experiences love the same way. A number of authors have developed frameworks to help us understand the foolishness of this idea. For example, in ‘The Five Love Languages’ Gary Chapman recognises that…
Read MoreRespect & Cherishment
What’s the Diff? While everyone experiences love uniquely, some clear gender patterns have emerged through relationship research. In one study, when given the option between the negative choices of being ‘alone and unloved in all the world’ or ‘inadequate and disrespected by everyone’, 74% of men preferred be alone and unloved, compared to only minority…
Read MoreMarriage: to be happy or to be holy?
”… And they lived happily ever after”… it’s the ending of the fairy tale love story and has become the expected story line of most modern day couples. Swept away by passion and the overwhelming experience of ‘falling in love’, couples expect the wedding to seal their happiness in permanent (and effortless) marital bliss. Of…
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