#17 Accompanying The Abandoned

When a marriage breaks down, it’s rarely by mutual agreement. More commonly, one spouse wants to leave and the other wants to rebuild. For the abandoned spouse, it is bewildering, traumatic and distressing. Yet the situation is complicated – both spouses are in pain. How can we, as a community and as individuals accompany the…

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War and Peace on the Home Front

Every nation remembers the sacrifice of their war veterans with a Memorial Day. Thinking about your marriage: is it more of a battlefield than the safe harbour it is intended to be? Through our work with couples, we often encounter those in embattled relationships. They’ve become trapped in a fractious pattern where almost every interaction…

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Defiant Hope

Advent is a season of anticipation. The birth of any child, not least the Messiah, gives us cause for hope. Earlier this week, we heard the testimony of Chris and Natalie Stefanick, a couple who had journeyed through dark seasons in their marriage. Having survived sexual abuse as a child, Natalie found she needed many…

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Burn the Boats

A recent analysis of modern day wedding vows reveal around a third of couples shunning the traditional commitment for life. According to the results, 34% dumped the phrase ‘until death do us part’. This really shouldn’t surprise us as the prevailing messages young couples hear is that divorce is not only commonplace, it’s also to…

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Experience is not always the best teacher

Lots of people think that dating (and being sexually intimate) with a number of different people before marriage is an essential part of  forming a successful union. But is this kind of  ‘experience’ the best way to prepare for marriage? Many people think that having a few failed relationships is helpful in preparing them (or…

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Myths about Arguments

When it comes to marriage and relationship, there are a lot of myths out there. Here are five of the most common. Myth 1: Good couples don’t argue. The presence or absence of arguments is not a good indicator of the health of a marriage. Some couples who don’t argue are living detached, parallel lives.…

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Four Divorces and a Funeral

emotions

If you’re over the age of forty you might recall the 1994 movie “Four Weddings and a Funeral”. While it’s not a particularly memorable movie, the title seems to have an unexpected stickiness to it. Four Divorces and a Funeral – that’s pretty much what our life has been in the past month; a string…

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Help For Marriages Under Stress

January is typically the peak month for divorce applications in English-speaking countries. Having made the decision to divorce, many couples agree to postpone the application for one last Christmas together as a family. The parents hope that by delaying the devastating news until after Christmas, the children will be able to enjoy the day and then have a few weeks…

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Lessons from Mr and Mrs Smith

Earlier this week the news reported that Angelina Jolie had filed for divorce from Brad Pitt. Together for over a decade and married for two years, the Brangelina match appears to be over. Irrespective of the reasons for the breakdown of their marriage (and why it is anyone else’s business anyway), every broken marriage is…

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